Texas A&M Animal Husbandry Professor Arrested

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Texas A&M Animal Husbandry Professor Arrested

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Bryan - College Station, Texas (Digital Dementia News Services) - Texas A&M professor, Dr. Billlie Bob Putnam, has been arrested and charged with numerous counts of cruelty to, and indecency with, animals. Dr. Putnam is Professor Emeritus of Animal Husbandry.

Dr. Putnam has increasingly come under fire for his unorthodox theories and animal husbandry methods.

“We think Dr. Putnam has crossed the line,” said Texas A&M University President Dr. Robert M. Gates. “We all agree that animal husbandry is good practice for any farmer or business interested in livestock, but recently Dr. Putnam has seriously misapprehended what everyone else has in mind when they speak of animal husbandry.”

Yesterday local police supported by Texas Rangers raided Dr. Putnam’s animal husbandry research facilities located along the Brazos River just south of College Station.

“We found some really weird shit out there: sheep wearing corsets, pigs wearing mascara and thongs, shaved goats … it was sad,” said Texas Ranger Jake Harriman.

As he was being led away in handcuffs, Dr. Putnam pleaded with authorities to be allowed to arrange to have someone look after his children because their mother had died and they had no one to care for them.

“We didn’t even know he was married much less that he had any kids,” said Ranger Harriman. “We went back to the residence located at the research facility and found three adolescent … well … I guess you could say there were dogs. They all bore a wicked resemblance to Dr. Putnam, but … I just dunno. Even now, just thinking about it makes my skin crawl so bad it barely fits anymore.”