The Sweet Sound of Their Delicate Little Bodies Exploding ...

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The Sweet Sound of Their Delicate Little Bodies Exploding ...

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I don’t consider myself cruel or perverted. 

OK, I don’t consider myself particularly cruel or perverted. 

But I have to say that not all of God’s creatures necessarily deserve to share the planet with me.  In fact, in my humble opinion, God really screwed up when he included flies and mosquitoes in His grand design. 

What the hell was He thinking? 

I hear that the Almighty moves in mysterious ways.  Perhaps He has a bad hip.  Or perhaps He put flies and mosquitoes on the planet simply to provide us with a never ending source of amusement. 

Until recently, I was like most of the rest of you and found very little amusement value in flies and mosquitoes.  But that was before I bought a fly and mosquito racket lethally powered by two “D” batteries.  This device proved to be such a marvelous investment that I quickly returned to the store to purchase another one. 

Now I have two: one for the house and one that I keep in the car. 

If you feel the same way about flies and mosquitoes as I do you will appreciate that there are few sounds sweeter than that of their delicate little bodies exploding when they come into contact with the electrified grid of a high quality mosquito racket. 

Vengeance is indeed sweet! 

Now I’m almost disappointed if there are no mosquitoes in the car for me to hunt and annihilate while I am being driven to work in the morning. 

The floor of my car is has become littered with the charred carcasses of flies and mosquitoes who have faced the wrath of my lethal mosquito racket.  My driver offered to vacuum up their remains for me, but I think it’s better to leave them where they lay so that their charred, lifeless bodies may serve as a warning to the others.