UK goes 007 on Rats

Rentokil has announced it will deploy "James Bond-style technology" to battle the UK's burgeoning rat population - estimated by experts to have risen by 39 per cent in the past seven years and now totalling up to 100 million individuals.

Exact details of the rat-busting tech are not noted, except a vague reference to "infrared detection systems", but it's clear that cloaked Rentokil vans, rodent-seeking autogyros, and laser-armed Rolex Oyster Perpetuals are just a matter of time, and indeed necessity.

Rentokil's UK pest control business MD Jed Kenrick warned the Times it was "clear that the number of rats and mice was growing at a significant rate". He fingered climate change, the fact that "bin bags were being left on the street for far longer", and water companies cutting back on sewer baiting as contributory causes.

Kenrick elaborated: "There is more rubbish on the street, discarded burger and kebab boxes, and bins are not collected as often. But there's also the weather. The milder winter means more wasps, rats, and mice are surviving, and with the wet weather mice are more likely to seek shelter in the home."

However, before you all run screaming to Q to demand exploding bolas and dart-firing cigarettes, bear in mind Kenrick's final words of wisdom: "You have to remember as well that our perception of the problem is increasing. Our standards