Ronald McMurderer: Hamburgers kill so stop eating them or else!

Ronald McDonald is a cold blooded murderer. There, I said it - though I seriously doubt it’s something you haven’t heard before.  The litany of folks crawling up on soapboxes to castigate the restaurant...

Insuring Fear: Does Freaky Mayhem sell more than Confident Calm?

Fear can make us do some pretty weird things. Back in the 50’s, lots of folks spent thousands of dollars installing fallout shelters in their backyards (which, for the record, I would do in a heartbeat if I...

New Year's Resolutions: Big Oil or Big Lies? You decide...

New Years is a natural time to look for improvement. Here we are, faced with a brand new clean slate, so to speak – and nothing could be more organic than a little focused soul searching. It’s good to look for...

Teaching the World to Sing: Trees, bees & Coca-Cola turtle doves

It’s slightly jarring when you realize that popular advertising is as valid a part of one’s life tapestry as any first date, kiss or any other similarly time-stamped event. Like a serendipitous song playing at...

Stalking Kevin Bacon: A high-tech solution to an age old problem

Is stalking funny? I guess it could be – if it’s in a movie and done sort of Something About Mary style, but generally it’s pretty freaky behavior. Think more along the lines of Play Misty For Me or Fatal...

Sex, Bubbles, Sex, Water, Sex: Dita Von Teese, Perrier & SoftPorn

There is a very real belief that corporations somehow fly above the rest of us. The image of hardened, cigar-chomping men of commerce, huddled in their opulent boardrooms, planning nefarious takeovers of our...

Rum Bums Roil PC Sissies: Bruce, Hicks, Kinison & Maher long gone

Where have you gone Lenny Bruce? Bill Hicks? Sam Kinison? Bill Maher? They’re all dead (especially that last one) and so is the rebellion they once fought in. I’m not going to claim total affinity for...

Polar Love: Green hugs and kisses, U heart nature, & it hearts U!

Now hear this! I want the air on planet earth to be polluted, filthy and completely non-breathable. I pray ceaselessly for the day all available water becomes putrid and undrinkable. I hate trees, and hope they...

LOOK AT ME! Smart phone stoners & the pitch to save them

I really want to get one of those new smart phones. They’re so cool – all tiny, shiny and spankingly hip – you just know you’ve been left behind culturally if you haven’t yet joined in the fun. And...

The Coco Express: Conan sells Amex while we cheer him as underdog

You’re with Coco, right? I mean, I know I should be. Heck, everyone’s with Coco – well, at least everyone with a heart. What kind of pop cultural denying hermit would you have to be to choose any other late...

End Times: Why gold is the way to go (and Mr. T is already there)

They say that when times are tough, most rich folks turn to gold. That is, when you find you just can’t figure out the Snidely Whiplashes of the stock market or trust the braying rhetoric of oily politicians...

Zombies, cannibals, Charlie Sheen & Joy Behar: Shocked? Not yet..

I would suggest that we’ve all become pretty jaded these days. Nothing takes us by surprise anymore. Charlie Sheen naked! Frothing at the mouth! In a trashed hotel room! With a hooker! What, again? How about...

Posers & Players: Can a mini-van swagger make parenthood ok?

Okay, I admit it. I don’t want to be considered a lame-o loser. I don’t want friends, or even strangers, seeing me as yet another wolf-on-the-prowl that finally gave up the excitement of the fight to “settle...