Sequester’s Unintended Consequences Will Cause Chaos

Washington, DC -- The upside of the government’s sequester initiative is a $1.2 trillion reduction in the deficit. The downside is that the blunt force action will produce many unanticipated cuts and changes that...

Bada Boom: Mafia Put in Charge of U.S. Drones

Washington, DC -- Under growing criticism for using remote-controlled aircraft to hunt down and kill suspected terrorists, the Defense Department has transferred its top-secret aerial assassination program to the...

Congress To Choose An American For Pope

Washington, DC - Calling the health-related retirement of Pope Benedict XVI "a tragic opportunity," congressional leaders have declared that America will field a candidate in the upcoming election for the next...

Super Bowl Blackout Was No Accident, Pentagon Reports

New Orleans, Louisiana -- The 35-minute power failure at this year’s Super Bowl was  intentionally planned, according to  US military officials, who revealed today that the outage was a failed test of a...

Bloomberg Picking a Puppet For Mayor

New York - With less than a year left on his tainted third term, Mayor Michael Bloomberg is personally selecting a successor -- auditioning puppet candidates for the mayoral elections that will be held this fall....

New Gun Control Ideas Are ‘Run Up the Flagpole’

Washington DC -- The presidential task force to control gun violence is floating several ideas through the national media to get public reaction before it releases its final report. Panel head Vice President Joe...

America Replaces Coins With Cons To Fix The Debt Disaster

Washington DC - Forget about trillion dollar coins. A request by President Obama for new ways to pay off the national debt has prompted an avalanche of better scams and  more sophisticated innovations designed...

Congress to Star in a Super Bowl Commercial

Hollywood - Faced with the lowest approval rating in the history of approval ratings, the United States Congress plans to promote itself with a television ad produced specifically to run during the Super Bowl....

New iPhone App Makes Congress More Responsive

Washington DC -  Americans may soon be using their smart phones to force the Federal government to be more sensitive to their needs and opinions.   The new, higher level of democracy comes thanks to a...

Rex Ryan’s Top 10 Beach Activities

New York Jets’ coach Rex Ryan was so embarrassed by his team’s horrid season that he took off for a Bahamas’ beach vacation rather than hold the traditional end-of-year press conference. Unfortunately for...

Bloomberg Confuses Gun Rights With Gay Rights & Blows Out Brains

New York -  Mayor Michael Bloomberg was released from Bellevue Hospital today after being treated for what’s being called “a firearm mishap.” It appears that the mayor mistook a pistol for a penis and...

Ford Offers ‘Ejection Seating‘ to Fix Recalled Escapes

Dearborn, Michigan - It’s been a rough road for the introduction of 2013 Ford Escape. First, the newly designed SUV was recalled because its gas pedal had a tendency to get stuck in the carpeting at awkward...

Mt. Rushmore Mistaken for the Fiscal Cliff; Lincoln Loses Face

Keystone, South Dakota - The Mount Rushmore National Memorial was severely damaged last night by a missile fired by a US military drone.  The attack apparently was commissioned by Congress in what is now being...

General Petraeus Stripped of His ‘License to Kill’

Washington DC - The State Department has revoked the master spy privileges of disgraced former CIA director David Petraeus. That means the ex-general has lost all of his “00” espionage perks, including the...

New York City Marathon Issues Post-Sandy Rules

New York - Mayor Michael Bloomberg is being roundly criticized for permitting the New York Marathon to take place this weekend while millions of the city’s citizens still suffer from hardships brought on by...
 

closeSign in to NowPublic

is reporting from