It’s Official: Wall Street Has Become a Religion

New York - The international financial industry now controls Heaven as well as Hell. After years of behind-the-scenes maneuvering and back room deals, Wall Street officially became a major religion of the world...

Bloomberg Cancels the Thanksgiving Day Parade

New York - Mayor Michael Bloomberg has called off the Thanksgiving Day Parade, charging that the event is a public health and safety hazard. Following a strategy he developed in evicting Occupy Wall Street from the...

Social Media Turning Americans Into Socialists, Study Warns

Washington, DC - America’s growing use of social media is transforming the population of the United States into “a gang of pinko, socialist subversives,” according to a study by a leading conservative think...

Perry and Cain Check-In to the Ronald Reagan Memory Clinic

Simi Valley, California - Republican presidential contenders Rick Perry and Herman Cain have checked themselves into the Ronald Reagan Clinic for Memory Intervention. Publicly embarrassed by critical memory lapses...

Bazaar behavior: US Plans the World’s Biggest Yard Sale in Iraq

Baghdad - Iraq’s capital city has never seen a shopping bazaar like this. As the US military starts to withdraw from Iraq, it’s organizing the world’s largest yard sale to liquidate its surplus of equipment...

Obama Turns Back the Debt Clock to Save the World

Washington DC - With the stroke of a pen, President Barack Obama has rescued the world from a catastrophic economic meltdown.  The president signed into law today The Quantitative Time Act, effectively...

The Top 10 Upsides of Turning 60

It’s no fun turning 60. It’s the official beginning of “old manhood,” as in, “What are you doing in the fast lane, old man?” Or worse, “What are you doing in the diaper aisle, old man?” But as with...