Dell Dude Now Waiter at NY Mexican Restaurant

From "Dude, You're Getting a Dell!" to "Dude, You're Getting Fundidos": Lo, how the mighty have fallen. "Next time you’re at Tortilla Flats and you find yourself wondering aloud to your dinner companion, “What...

Paris Hilton Helps Drunk Elephants

Above headline is not a typo! Party-heiress Paris Hilton has found a new mission in life -- fighting alcoholism among India's elephants. Because booze is for people."Socialite Paris Hilton is spearheading a...

CBGB's Sells Out From Beyond the Grave

I guess this should be seen as an Important Requiem for Somethin' Somethin', but honestly CBGB's sold out years ago. But still, did they really have to make it a high-end fashion store? This is why all the...

Pat Robertson To Endorse Giuliani

Honestly I don't really understand conservatism in this country anymore. Pat Robertson is endorsing a candidate who basically shares none of his religious values basically because why, he's a a Republican?"Pat...

Josh Hartnett Gets Turned Away by Hipster Bowling Alley

Josh Hartnett got turned away over the weekend by Brooklyn hipster bowling alley Gutter. I was there  the night before he was! Of course, I wasn't travelling with underage girls..."It's always exceptionally...

Katie Holmes Runs NYC Marathon

I'm picturing a small army of security guards jogging alongside her, but that's probably overstating things. Anyway, the NYC marathon runs by my front door every year, and it's pretty spectacular -- bands play,...

Troops Attack Protesters in Pakistan

See all of NowPublic's Pakistan coverage here.(Note to our Pakistani members: Feel free to add comments, photos, videos and anything else to this story. And tell your friends!)Riot troops swept through Pakistan...

Tennessee Town Runs Out of Water

The drought in the Southeast has claimed a dramatic victim -- Orme, Tenn., has no water source left. The fire chief has to haul it in from a town in Alabama.Anybody out there affected by the drought? Talk about...

E. Coli Scare Leads to Pizza Recall

Food giant General Mills is recalling almost five million frozen pizzas (the brands are Totino's and Jeno's) because the pepperoni might be contaminated with E. Coli. Fortunately, Totonno's, probably the...

Four Shot in NYC in Halloween Brawl

A Halloween fight in NYC's Union Square turned serious early this morning; four men were shot by one gunman and another man was stabbed. All the victims are in stable condition."November 1, 2007 -- Four men were...

Watch Out for the Killer Lamp!

The Onion presents the 23 goofiest horror-movie adversaries ever. Happy Halloween!"1. Floor lamp (Amityville 4: The Evil Escapes, 1989)So far, The Amityville Horror has spawned a whopping eight sequels, remakes,...

Preteens Trading Fairy Wands for Fishnets

Ick! Modern society. And Ick! I feel bad just reading this -- a Washington Post article (of questionable news value and taste) about how preteens are turning more and more to "sexy" Halloween costumes....

Amy Fischer Sex Video?

You might be seeing a whole lot more of the Long Island Lolita than you planned. Amy Fischer, famous for shooting her lover's wife in the face in 1992 (Fischer was 17 at the time), is slated to be the next star of...

Sox Sweep Series, Celebrate

And there was much rejoicing in Beantown, as the Boston Red Sox defeated the Colorado Rockies 4-3 in the World Series. Of course, in the hearts of Bostonians, "Colorado Rockies" is basically a stand-in for "New...

Sushi Wins Cardboard Tube Fighting Championships

That headline isn't a mad lib! A 20-year-old Berkeley woman won San Francisco's first Cardboard Tube Fighting Championship, defeating knights, ninjas, robots, and the creepy-sounding Count Sexula. Further proof...
 

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