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Va. middle school bans touching

by Kaitlin | June 18, 2007 at 08:11 am | 1911 views | 4 comments | 10 recommendations

Kilmer Middle School in Vienna, Virginia has a "no physical contact" rule. Like many schools, officials at Kilmer created the rule to try to give kids personal space and limit the effects of what they see as the violent and/or sexual physical tendencies of teenagers. But recently, a boy was reprimanded for putting his arm around his girlfriend--which has led to a debate over whether the no touching rule is too harsh. If kids can't touch, is social interaction lost? How much touching is too much? What happens in gym class? School dances? What if I wanted to embrace a friend who's upset?

According to the principal, the line is drawn firmly but with understanding that a look from a teacher is often enough to get students to part ways. But what about the boy who put his arm around his girlfriend? Well, his parents have taken the matter to the school board, in hopes that the school will reconsider the rule.

Deborah Hernandez, Kilmer's principal, said the rule makes sense in a school that was built for 850 students but houses 1,100. She said that students should have their personal space protected and that many lack the maturity to understand what is acceptable or welcome.

"You get into shades of gray," Hernandez said. "The kids say, 'If he can high-five, then I can do this.' "

She has seen a poke escalate into a fight and a handshake that is a gang sign. Some students -- and these are friends -- play "bloody knuckles," which involves slamming their knuckles together as hard as they can. Counselors have heard from girls who are uncomfortable hugging boys but embarrassed to tell anyone. And in a culturally diverse school, officials say, families might have different views of what is appropriate.

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babblingdweeb

flagged this story as Good Stuff

at 09:13 on June 18th, 2007

And in a culturally diverse school, officials say, families might have different views of what is appropriate.

That's
a fair statement, but if I can't have contact with someone because
another culture disapproves -I disapprove of the decision. Unless
physical harm comes to another group or party due to contact, I think
the school it taking it too far. I'm somewhat of an extremist when it
comes to being culturally aware, but I think there are limits.

She has seen a poke escalate into a fight

I've
seen it happen too -so have thousands of students. A "no touching" rule
isn't going to prevent people from poking a finger into the other
person anymore than a "no fighting rule" prevents students from
fighting.

Additionally, if Virgina has a "gang problem", maybe they ought to contact the FBI if local police cannot control it.

TheCub

at 11:36 on June 18th, 2007

I've been part of a high school myself with such strict limits on physical contact and have even been pulled away from one of my friends by a principal, who said I was 'sucking face,' when I was giving one of my pals a simple hug because he was having a rough time. I agree with Mr. babblingweeb that just because a school makes a rule, it doesn't mean the students will listen to it and obey it. For example, we couldn't bring drinks or food from home because teachers and principals feared there might be drugs or alcohol in them somehow... but students still brought them to school anyway.

jordan

at 13:53 on June 18th, 2007

Sounds to me like the outside-food-or-drink rule has more to do with selling food on campus than any sort of "security"... Also, I agree with the comment above: no-touching rules won't prevent fights; indeed, schools in general already have no-fighting regulations, with the possible exception of Tyler Durden High...

Jaye_Elle

at 16:36 on June 18th, 2007

Re: my photo which was posted of the teachers and students hugging at graduation--I actually raised my eyebrows at all the hugging at the middle school graduation. I thought a handshake would be appropriate. I can understand an occasional hug between a student and a teacher who were especially bonded, but that line of teachers hugged each and every single student who was on their team. Some of the students looked visibly awkward. One boy who had extended his hand received a hug anyway. Perhaps they didn't want anyone to feel left out.