Vatican Inter-religious "Kegger" Planned

Rome (Digital Dementia News Services) - Pope Benedict plans to invite the heads of the world’s major religions to the Vatican for what has been characterized as a religious summit the likes of which the world has never seen.

Sources inside the Vatican say that the upcoming religious summit will herald a new era of close cooperation between leaders of major world faiths.

“In the past these religious summits have been carefully staged with every last detail meticulously planned after lengthy consultations with so-called protocol experts,” says Cardinal Giorgio “the Fish” Costadelo. “Past summits have been mind-numbingly dull affairs and never really yielded any significant improvement in inter-religious relationships. This time, the Pope has plans to ‘shake things up a bit’ by setting a social agenda that will prove to be as controversial as it is innovative.”

Included on the agenda for the 4-day inter-religious summit are a “welcome-to-Rome-kegger”, an outdoor barbecue, a billiards night, water-polo, a friendly poker game and a “guys' night out” that is rumored to include some of Rome’s brightest night spots.

Theologians and religious scholars around the world have been busy reviewing ancient church records to determine whether there is any precedent for the planned papal bash, but thus far most agree the planned Vatican kegger will be a first.

“We’re confident that religious leaders will all benefit from this team-building event and that the resulting camaraderie will usher in an era of lessened religious based strife." said Cardinal Costadelo. "It has the makings of a real kick-ass party."

Invitations have not yet been issued, but insiders generally agree that the confab will include participants from the Eastern Orthodox Church, the Southern Baptist Convention, the Church of Jesus Christ Latter Day Saints, Sunni and Shiite Islamic sects and the Hindu and Buddhist religions.

Apparently the pope plans to snub the leader of the renegade Houston-based religious sect, Our Lady of Perpetual Lust, though a final decision is apparently yet to be made.

Oddly, the pope has also apparently elected to exclude any representatives from the Hare Krishna or Church of Scientology. A Vatican insider who spoke on the condition of anonymity indicated that “the pope can’t stand those Hare Krishna skinheads” and that he considers them to be "nothing but a bunch of mindless monkeys in search of an organ-grinder.”