West Virginia Law Bans Sex With Miners!
Editor's Note: Attribution of this article has proven to be a hoax (we're not as stupid as some people say!)
Charleston (Digital Dementia News Services) - Coal miners in West Virginia and neighboring Kentucky are entering the second week of a strike and calling for employees in other business sectors to join them in a general work stoppage beginning next week.
Miners are outraged and more than a bit frustrated with West Virginia legislation imposing harsh penalties for individuals who have “sexual contact with a miner.” Individuals found guilty of having sex with a miner face fines of up to $250,000 and a maximum sentence of 25 years in prison.
“It just ain’t right!” complains West Virginia coal miner Smitty Culpepper. “Miners need love just as much as anybody! My wife is scared stiff she’s gonna be arrested and sent to prison if she so much as touches my culpepper let alone sits on it.”
Attempts to have the legislation set aside by the courts failed miserably when a federal court ruled that, “It is not for the judicial branch to second-guess the wisdom of social policies enacted by a duly elected legislature. While we recognize the hardships imposed upon miners within our state and sympathize with the poor blue-balled bastards, it is up to the legislature to consider changes to the laws as enacted.”
“That’s easy for him to say,” Smitty Culpepper spat through clenched teeth. “I’ll bet he’s getting laid on a regular basis and it’s safe to say his wife don’t work in no coal mine.”