70% say brides should take husband's name

by generaldecay | August 13, 2009 at 10:35 am
387 views | 59 Recommendations | 28 comments
About 70% of Americans agree, either somewhat or strongly, that it's beneficial for women to take her husband's last name when they marry, while 29% say it's better for women to keep their own names, finds a study being presented today at the American Sociological Association's annual meeting in San Francisco.

Quote

... women should lose their own identity when they marry and become a part of the man and his family.

In somewhat surprising research, a new study reveals that nearly three-quarters of Americans believe that women should take their husband's name when they marry. Well, personal choice is just that and I don't have an issue with this opinion, per se. Although I disagree with it.

However:

... 50 percent say that it should be a legal requirement for a woman to take her spouse’s last name.

Legal requirement? In other words, 50% of Americans believe that women should be forced to take their husband's name when they marry. An actual legal requirement.

And the reason women should change their name:

When the respondents were asked why they felt women should change their name after the wedding, Hamilton says, “They told us that women should lose their own identity when they marry and become a part of the man and his family. This was a reason given by many.”

So these people believe that women should not maintain any individuality at all when they marry and that instead they should be completely subsumed by their husbands? I'm not even sure what that's supposed to mean but I can certainly see the absolute absurdity of it.

With attitudes like these, who needs enemies...

recommend This comment thread is now closed
2
Beaulieu

I think it is ridiculous.

We have our own identity and own heritage. I prefer the idea of having both. Changing to the man's name 'just spells 'doormat' to  me.

0
generaldecay

Well I think it's a personal choice for any woman - if she wants to take her husband's name, I have no issue whatsoever with that. If it's her choice...

Thanks for the comment.

2
Paschen

Well, Why not do it as some cultures do by both keeping their own name and the children of that marriage if boys will get his name and if girls will take her name. Simple and fair.

Or you do it as some Buddhist cultures do it and both are given a new name that will unite them. Some culture change the name for each stage in life, Birth, Adulthood, Marriage and Death.

2
Beaulieu

I think they give the mother's name to the daughter in Iceland, and the son, the father's name.

I find it annoying when doing family tree work, that my mother's side virtually 'disappears'. It's crazy.

 

2
Arbol

That sounds really good, Paschen. It's time to evolve.

On the other hand, that "70%" does sound phony. Though it wouldn't surprise me that some US americans were STILL that conservative and chauvinist.

0
generaldecay

Arbol, I was rather surprised about that statistic myself but I believe that you're right in your assertion that some Americans (nay, some people from all of the world) are just that sexist and close-minded.

0
generaldecay

Paschen, I think that 'boys get father's name and girls get mother's name' system is still based on very patriarchal principles as boys will always have the choice of keeping their name whereas girls (with their mother's name) will not. In other words, this system ensures that the male lineage is always secure, while the female lineage is not.

Thanks for the comment.

1
Paschen

Just an after though here, the 70%, how many are woman of that? Further it says that the number of people questioned was below 1000 with a margin of error here of about 5% I would assume and what are the demographics here? Hispanic, Christian, Muslim, Atheist, Buddhist, Hindu, American born, immigrants, ages...?

I would say this study lacks objectivity and good healthy critical science. 

I believe that number once I see all those factors taken into account and published and this with no less then 10,000 people being questioned and in every State as well.

1
Beaulieu

Paschen, I agree with you, I don't like studies until we know more about them in more details. It's good to question things.

0
generaldecay

1,000 is not a small sample size in social science research although I agree that the sample should be representative.

4
Tina Kells

I've always thought that the only really accurate way to denote a family name is via a matrilineal model.  Until very recently (DNA technology) you could only know for sure that a child continued its mother's bloodline. I can't help but wonder how many royal bloodlines were continued without the father's royal blood at all.

As a woman in western culture it really makes no difference to me because either way I carry a man's surname (my father then my husband). I plan to take my husband's surname because at least I took that name by choice, but that is just me.

For my daughter we gave her both my surname and her father's. When she is older she can choose one or both. When she gets married she can do the same. I think it is a matter of personal choice. I even know a few men who have taken their wive's surname since they really didn't like their own. I even have one set of friends who created a new name and they both took that when they married. I think it should be a matter of choice for both men and women what they want to do.


0
generaldecay

Tina, I absolutely agree that it's a woman's choice whether or not to take her husband's name. It is the 'forced to' aspect that I greatly object to. I find it mind-boggling that such attitudes still exist.

Thanks for the comment. :)

1
sara star

I worked maternity for many years, and countless times the blood type did not match up with the father, meaning they were sired by another man.

Taking the mother's last name, at least one would know FOR SURE you are genetically from that lineage.

I think the couple should take the woman's name, but no one should be forced legally. If a baby is born to an unwed mother, they are given the mother's name at birth despite if the father is an active participant. They can later change the name if they so wish.

0
Paschen

Well, I lived with the Wrong Blood type on my ID for some time since the Hospital made a mistake and only recently had it tested again to find out I am not what they said I was so they tested it over since they believed they could have been a mistake and no the mistake was made after my birth.

So much for Hospitals reliable blood test on children. I think they are also known to mix up children and parents. :) Some only realize decades latter and other never do and maybe that is best.

2
Beaulieu

That's absolutely incredible Sara. How sad for the child who should have the right to know who their parents are. I don't how you looked at the mother.

Good idea about taking the mother's name.

2
a211423

Research data can be manipulated, and in the USA Today article it says 70% of Americans.  It should say 70% of Americans who participated or polled in this case.   70% of Americans in Kansas are going to have different variables than 70% in California resulting in a different result or conclusion.  I am sure the Sociological Society was precise in how they collected and reveal their data, but USA Today printed their impressions which might be skewed. 

The evolution of naming traditions is quite interesting and has usually reflected the male lineage attached to the surname.  In Scandinavia, "datter" or "son" would be attached to the surname of the child.  Lavran's daughter would be surnamed Lavransdatter, and the son of Bjorgulf would be Bjorgulfson.  These might be the result of grammatical forms derived from an inflected language. Likewise, Teutonic culture spread across Europe and to Briton bringing with them their language and Germanic naming traditions. Spanish is not an inflected language, and naming traditions in Hispanic cultures allow women to keep their name, and subsequent children's names can include both the mother and father's name together with their own name. 

I believe in choice; therefore, it should be up to the individual woman how she wishes to be identified upon marriage.   

 

 

0
generaldecay

a211423, absolutely. It is possible to say 70% of Americans only tentatively and only if the sample is representative of the US population. It doesn't state if that is the case here but, as you imply, the Sociology Association is a reliable researcher.

Thank you for the information in this comment - very interesting.

0
a211423

You are welcome.

Thank you for generating this discussion. 

1
LWesty

I think it is personal choice as well.  I took my husbands name but used my maiden name throughout our marriage because I worked in the film industry.  Most people know me by my maiden name.  I don't agree with both getting a new one when married it's hard enough finding people when you know their name never mind trying to track someone down with a new random one ! But that's just my opinion !  If and I say IF because I Never say Never, get married again I will keep my maiden name.

0
generaldecay

It is personal choice. Although I never use the word term 'maiden name' myself. That itself implies that we should all be virginal and pure before we marry, which is a whole other debate.

Thanks for the comment.

0
Pythiian1

Wow, that's a high percentage, I'd like to know more about their data pool, but that's just me.

I think most professional women that I know of, which is unscientific, do not take their husbands' names since they've established their credentials under their own names. 

I've some friends whose surnames represent both parents' surnames. 

0
generaldecay

Pythiian1, this woman will not be taking her husband's name (if I ever marry) because, as you say, I have an established professional record that is associated with my name.

And, well, it's my name!

1
Sputnic

In Islam a woman keeps her name.   This rule comes from God and so should be adhered to.

0
generaldecay

I'm not sure God says anything about this convention in other religions. And, well, I frankly don't really care about "God's" opinion on this matter.

0
Sputnic

good for you. Why are you so arrogant?

0
generaldecay

I'm not. I just don't think that God has any say in whether or not I (or any other woman) changes her name.

0
Sputnic

So, I am curious, does, in your humble opinion, God have the right to tell men what to do?

0
generaldecay

Well, I should explain that I identify as agnostic so I would have to disagree with God - a God, the God, whatever God, if any of them exist - telling anyone what to do.

But this is kind of a pointless discussion to me (and I was being quite tongue in cheek to begin with). I'll explain why: As I said in my original reply to you, I'm not sure that religions other than Islam have any direction on what one should do with their name when they marry - this is where the pointlessness sets in for me, and not just on this issue. Which God decrees something for Islam but not for other religions? Are there a number of Gods (one for each religion, say) who have different ideas for different things? Or isn't it the idea that there is only one God but different interpretations of his word (whatever that was)? And how on earth does one know what to believe (if one cares about such things)?

That's just a few of my questions. So when I hear, 'God said so and that is it,' I ask myself the questions above, and the whole thing just feels very tenuous to me.

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Roy C
First Flagged at 11:10 AM, Aug 13, 2009 by Roy C

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