Absolut(ely) Ridiculous - Mexico’s Reconquista 80 Proof Style!

First, full disclosure: I have advocated America’s annexation of Mexico within these virtual pages. The way I figure it is that if some (is it really just some, how many Mexicans do you think want to take California back? I think many.) Mexican groups like la Raza (I think it means “the race,” I only took three years of public school Spanish, so I don’t really know) want a “reconquista.” Now, I know what that means, they want my land!

Anyways, if billboards are any barometer of truth (and I think they are as good as any “academic study” because a lot of money is gambled on a marketing campaign’s success) then we can safely assume that many Mexicans still feel shafted from the Mexican-American War. Just take a look at this billboard from Absolut Vodka:

And this was from a story in the LA Times - a far left daily that is sinking faster than Zimbabwe’s economy. The story asks the question of whether this type of ad campaign will, um, anger Americans.

The answer, of course, is no. Some cities in America’s Southwest are already being handed over to the Latin provisional authority - the gangs. What, too harsh? Ask the blacks who use to live in some of these cities in Southern California what is going on. Just take a drive in these ciudades and you can see something that you won’t see in the picture of Absolut’s billboard above - everything is in Spanish.

Many cities in America’s Southwest are de facto ciudades and, quite frankly, I’m not going to shed any tears over it. If a culture isn’t strong enough to withstand the culture of some migrant workers and disaffected youths with poor marksmanship than maybe it doesn’t deserve to survive. But, unfortunately for the Reconquista crowd, in the end it will be their culture that withers away.

Mexico, despite its abundance of natural resources and close proximity to the world’s largest economy, can’t find a way to bring anyone riches except for a fat man named “Slim” and the politicians who made “Slim’s” financial abundance possible. Mexico, along with many other Latin countries, are the anemic posterity of a failed economic system - communism/socialism/statism. This culture that is winning out in many American cities (sorry, ciudades) is doomed for failure. And yet more billboards like Absolut’s pop up all over the place in my backyard.

Going full circle with this piece I think it is wise to revisit the idea of annexing Mexico. It is a country that is largely out of control - heck, one city can’t even hire a police chief because the previous eight or nine have been assassinated. Mexico is also a city that has a ton of potential. It’s natural resources (yes, oil, it’s always oil with conservatives, haven’t you heard?) are extensive. And they are just to our South making occupation a lot easier considering the fact that a full fifty percent of our occupational force could be comprised of alcoholic spring breakers.

And here is the completion of the circle - Absolut could be the sponsor of America’s counter-conquista. Those drunken coeds will be lured to occupy Mexico because there will be a lot of cheap vodka (by the way, why vodka in a Latin country? Shouldn’t it be, oh I don’t know, tequila?!).

This is why I’m not up in arms over Absolut’s marketing ploy because, in the end, we are going to take over all of Mexico with spring breakers fueled by Absolut. Or America will just continue on in cultural ambivalence trading luxury and ease for encroaching ciudades. One or the other, it’s really a toss up in my mind. BigT