Alexis Pilkington: Suicide Linked to Cyberbullying?

by Amy Judd | March 25, 2010 at 09:07 am

9018 views | 3 Recommendations | 18 comments

Alexis Pilkington Committed Suicide on March 21st, But Disturbing Reports Are Surfacing That She was Harrassed by Cyberbullies and That May be Connected to Her Death

Alexis Pilkington was described by many as a 'smart, attractive girl' and a star soccer player for West Islip Senior High School, so news of her suicide came as a shock to those that knew her well.

Alexis Pilkington's Suicide

However, disturbing reports are now surfacing of nasty messages posted about Alexis Pilkington online before and after her death and police are considering looking in to whether these messages may have contributed to Alexis' suicide in any way according to the New York Daily News. When we wrote our original story about Alexis' death, we even received an anonymous comment that said 'lol dead'. We decided to leave it up as an example of the insensitivity that seems to be building online towards this young girl's tragic death.

On a number of social networking sites, including Facebook and one called Formspring.me, there were a number of messages and postmortem messages addressed to and about Alexis, only deepening the pain for her family and friends.

Alexis' mom thinks that cyberbulling was not to blame for her daughter's suicide however:

"I believe in my heart that cyberbullying wasn't the cause of Lexi's death," said her mother, Paula Pilkington. "This is a mistake."

Police have said they will take action if necessary and are monitoring the situation:

"Investigators are monitoring the postings and will take action if any communication is determined to be of a criminal nature," Suffolk County Deputy Chief of Detectives Frank Stallone said yesterday.

According to the HuffingtonPost, the father of one of Alexis' friends, Michael Stracuzza, said that he is taking account of the situation and sending all the harassing posts to prosecutors.

“It’s the effect the posts have on those who are mourning that poor girl’s death,” said Stracuzza, whose 18-year-old daughter Chanelle was upset after seeing the messages. “This is what needs to be addressed. Children want to mourn their friend, and there are posts of photos with nooses around her neck. It’s disgusting and heartless.”

Andrew Noyes, a spokesman for Facebook, said that the company does not allow cyberbullying and will disable any accounts if that member is intimidating others in any way.

Formspring.me said that they will also work with authorities to help prosecute any criminal acts using their system.

Alexis' parents have said that the outpouring of personal support for them and their family has been amazing however, and stand by their thoughts that cyberbulling did not contribue to their daughter's death.

According to CyberBully Alert, over 40% of teenagers online in the United States have been bullied in some way on the Internet, and girls are more likely than boys to be targets of cyberbullying. They report that only 10% of that number tell their parents. Social networking sites are among some of the most common cyberbullying sites.

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Ashley Decker

at 10:12 on March 25th, 2010

As a parent, I want to know where these parents are while there kids are getting "cyber bullied". I understand that parents can't be with their children 24 hours a day, but you absolutely can monitor and limit what access your children have to the internet. Why does every parent cave in and by their children a cell phone? Did we have cell phones growing up? My 11 yr old step son's mother gave him a cell phone for chirstmas that has the internet and unlimited text messaging, allows him to take it to bed with him in his room, and never checks his text messages....she is begging for something bad to happen to him. When he comes over on the weekends, he is not allowed to bring it to my house, it is unacceptable. Parents need to be more vigilant in child rearing these days, and more accountable for their failures as a parent, instead of whining about this and that and looking for others to balme. Its called a mirror, take a look in it.....

*nikki (not verified)

at 12:16 on March 25th, 2010

well, as a teen if i was to get cyber bullied to that extent, i would tell my parents, but sometimes kids dont want to tell their parents, they feel its too personal. It may be hard for you to understand. I did not know alexis personally. I grew up in West Islip, and used to be friends with some of her friends about 5 years ago, and this devastated me. But Alexis' mother had stated that she did not think that formspring.me and the bullying on that site was the ultimate cause of her death. As time goes on, things change. So even though you did not have a cell phone growing up, most of the other kids that you grew up with did not have them, and nowadays it has reversed. Technology has obviously advanced as well, and teens and children use it everyday. So facebook and formspring.me, are websites visited daily and all teens do it. So her parents probably did not see it as a major concern, until they knew about the bullying. Im just giving you my opinion, thanks for reading.

pat mclaughlin (not verified)

at 06:08 on March 26th, 2010

Hey Ashley...Were you ever told if you have nothing nice to say, Say nothing!!! My prayers are with this family, And also with Ashley, May she never have to go threw what these parents are dealing with!!!

Chelsea (not verified)

at 11:49 on March 30th, 2010

Ma'am. You spell it "buy", not "by".

Brookexx (not verified)

at 03:41 on April 1st, 2010

Ashley Decker,Hmm, as a parent.... you should know how to spell. You wrote, "Why does every parent cave in and by their children a cell phone?" It's actually buy, not by. The fact that a parent gave an 11-year-old a cell phone, is stupidity. These days, maybe pre-teens can have a cell phone, but just not have unlimited internet access or texting. If he/she is in sports at school or something, they should have a cell phone to be able to call their parent.You are rude. This girl died because of cyber bullying and all you can do is state things that happen in your life and how you think you are a "better parent" than this girl's mother? This girl was 17-years-old. Parents should give their teens privacy and not snoop into their rooms, or read their emails or have facebook passwords. They should be able to trust their children to come to their parents with problems. It's a shame this girl must of not been able to talk to her mother about her problems. Maybe they weren't close.Instead of saying how you won't allow your step son to step into your house with his cell phone, maybe try saying rest in peace since a girl did die due to cyber bullying or whatever they say she died from.You aren't very mature by saying, "It's called a mirror, take a look in it." Grow up.

Maureen M. (not verified)

at 00:05 on April 14th, 2010

My mom was on my myspace friends list and hovering over my shoulder while I was getting cyberbullied. Most of the attacks were done anonymously, so there was nothing we could do and authorities did nothing to stop it. And an 11 year old can have a cell phone, it depends on how responsible and trustworthy the child is. Maybe unlimited texting and internet access is a little extreme. I got a cell phone when I was 12 because I had after school activities and sometimes, I'd get separated from my mom in the mall. I could call her and say "Mom, where are you?" We live in an age of technology. People need to adapt.

Maureen M. (not verified)

at 00:08 on April 14th, 2010

I also want to add, where are the parents of these "cyber bullies"? I want to know where they are and why they haven't taught their child the golden rule! "Treat others the way you would like to be treated."

Kalee Williams (not verified)

at 10:45 on March 25th, 2010

You, as a parent, are extremely over cautious. You honestly shouldn't be worrying that much. What do you think we teenagers are doing on the Internet and on cell phones, we aren't all having cyber sex, and stuff, some of us use it for good uses. Not all kids are bad. Not all kids are stupid, just some more irresponsible

Chelsea Ridge (not verified)

at 16:30 on March 30th, 2010

Ashley Decker, I'm guessing you are a parent of an actual bully.Shame on you for writing something so heartless as to blame the parents for this lovely girl's suicide. She obviously had outstanding parents to have turned out so well. My heart goes out to Alexis' family. May you find comfort in the fact that you raised such a lovely child.

Brookexx (not verified)

at 03:42 on April 1st, 2010

Chelsea, I completely agree!

Kyle Margente (not verified)

at 21:13 on March 31st, 2010

Dear Mrs. Ashley Decker, Fu*k Off.

SuckxXxIt (not verified)

at 15:31 on April 5th, 2010

Having survived suicide myself, I know that although the obvious solution seems to be " Tell your parents, or someone who can help," it isn't that simple. Depression and suicide in high schools, junior highs, even grade schools, is such a taboo subject. I attempted in eighth grade, and had to have an ambulance called for me, at school. The taunting and blatant cruelty that I faced daily, was horrible after that. Telling your parents may seem like an easy solution, but a lot of times, when someone does ask for help, it is seen as a cry for attention. I think that Alexis refrained from telling her parents (I have no connection with her, her family, or anything involved with her death, and thus possibly completely ignorant) because she probably really did want to end it. I've read that she was already involved in therapy, and that her struggle with depression was already known. Everything probably seemed completely hopeless, she was already in therapy, and that didn't help. People she didn't know were attacking her, it may have seemed like it was never going to get better. Bullying is such an intimate think for the victim, it's embarrassing to have to show another person that people think and say things so hurtful to the victim. I'm so sorry for everyone who knew her, and especially those who knew her well. This isn't your fault, don't let anyone try and blame you for this. You truly couldn't have stopped it.

allyson ; (not verified)

at 09:33 on April 8th, 2010

ashley tucker, suck a fat dick.

Emily. (not verified)

at 23:08 on April 23rd, 2010

I've been being bullied by one of my classmates at school on formspring, and i don't know which one it is because it's anoyomous, so at school now, i just don;t talk to anyone, because i don't know who to trust and who not to.. of course this is because of cyber bullying. it's hard on us, and people that get bullied don't know what to do, or how to fix it, we just want to get away from it all..

brenda lee (not verified)

at 16:08 on April 24th, 2010

umm in order to make a formspring one must be aware that it is anonymous and whatever is said should not be take seriously for the factthat no one will ever know who said what. I saw trouble with this site when i first came across it.... one can say whatever they please to someone without necessarily meaning it... simply to get a laugh at it or what not. Teens and others using this site should be aware that it may contribute to low self esteem and if they do not want to be negatively spoken off then they shall delete their account promptly.

brenda lee (not verified)

at 16:12 on April 24th, 2010

Oo and Ashley you are extremely ignorant for that comment you posted... instead of prohibiting your child to bring the phone into your house why not speak to him about the dangers of life and allow him to feel comfortable speaking to you about his personal life.

ginger black (not verified)

at 16:14 on April 24th, 2010

ashley you are so damn ignorant i feel bad for the children you raise!

Morgan Lee (not verified)

at 11:45 on April 28th, 2010

May Alexis' family get through this well and may Alexis rest in peace. As a teenager I have been cyberbullied and i did not want to tell my mom. I feel embarrased at school for my mom knowing things like this. But Ashley I feel sorry for you, you seem to be stuck in the ages where kids didn't have much technology and bullying wasn't as big of a deal and there was no cyber bullying. Well now there is. It's a bigger world out there. Let your poor son use his cell phone. For all you know he could be made fun of at school because he can't use it over the weekends. All i am saying is take a step out of the box and you will realize that sometimes not everyone is bad it all depends on how you raise your child. And just think what if you were your son. Wouldn't you be really upset with your mom. Soon he will grow farther and farther away from you if you don't take a chance. Alexis, Again may you rest in peace. You are in my prayers along with your family!