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Archbishop appoints new Bilingual exorcists
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by Barry Artiste | April 5, 2008 at 05:16 am
634 views | 42 Recommendations | 11 comments
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Barry Artiste, Now Public Contributor
Canada being a bilingual country of French and English requires even the Satan to be bilingual or suffer the consequences of Government officials in order for his victims to be understood by bilingual exorcists. God on the other hand doesn't need to be, cause let's face it what are you gonna do about it, He's God?
What I would like to know is how is the Catholic church going to get a French and English - Satan language translation made easy phrase book to Satan? Satan who normally speaks some unintelligle language anyways through his victims which is niether french or english as most of us know who watched Exorcist Movies, If I were Satan, I would just say WTF, it's easier to just "kill em". Satan was never a good conversationalist anyways.
Ottawa Archbishop appoints new exorcistsCanwest News ServicePublished: Saturday, April 05, 2008
OTTAWA -- Ottawa's Catholic archbishop has appointed at least two new exorcists, one for the English and one for the French community, replacing the region's last exorcist who retired five years ago. The archdiocese will not name the priests, or say exactly how many there are for fear of a flood of phone calls. Msgr. Kevin Beach says all the men are experienced clergy with overseas experience, some in areas of the world where belief in demons is more robust than in North America. He said it wasn't easy to find men with the right qualifications, nor was it easy to persuade them to take the duties. "I think they had to give prayerful consideration. If they are looking for the job, that's not the person you want." The archdiocese doesn't receive any more than seven or eight calls a year about exorcism. Exorcism has always been part of the Catholic ministry, even if it has fallen by the wayside. Under Pope Benedict XVI and his predecessor John Paul II, talk of Satan and his minions has made a comeback.
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Barry Artiste
Vancouver, Canada
Most RecentMost Recommended Comments (11)
at 06:57 on April 5th, 2008
Barry Artiste, you know most demons speak german or english. They have to understand the priest! Can you image a french demon? It will sound like he wants to make love, when he is banishing you to hades.
at 06:59 on April 5th, 2008
I bet that French would be really hard to pronounce in that guttural devil-voice, and would not translate well to backwards-played metal albums...
at 07:15 on April 5th, 2008
Thanks to you both for the comments and the good flag. What boggles the mind is Satan, whatever tongue he speaks certainly wouldn't comply with anyone, let alone a priest, and besides Satan. Worshippers for Dummies, I am sure has the language thing covered anyway. Like I always said, Dark age religions certainly have no place in todays society, especially if they start farcical rules and meanderings like this. Satan most likely will just Kill You to avoid the Homework.
at 12:28 on April 5th, 2008
Barry Artiste, I like this story. I guess this is such a sign of the times!
at 12:33 on April 5th, 2008
...and would not translate well to backwards-played metal albums
Jordan, if there was any reason to visit NowPublic, it would be to enjoy your inciteful commentary
at 12:53 on April 5th, 2008
Thanks Amy, more like ancient times
at 12:54 on April 5th, 2008
Ah but Jordan's inciteful commentary pales in comparision to my Witty headlines, such as Isreal under Snipe Fire, Hillary on the next flight out!
at 13:12 on April 5th, 2008
Barry Artiste, I like this story. It's good stuff.
@politisite "It will sound like he wants to make love" Seductive, isn't it? ;)
@jordan "hard to pronounce..." Mmm... Prbl :D
at 13:55 on April 5th, 2008
OOoooooKay, I can't really see where this is going, but thanks for the comments and flag Sexy. Over to you Dave!!
at 16:15 on April 5th, 2008
Barry, you just might be shocked to find out how many people in America and Canada think they are either possessed or their house is possessed. The more I watch this type of stuff (and I've unfortunately watched a lot of stuff about the paranormal) the less I believe in it. Unless someone can produce a little girl that has a spinning head I think all of this demonology stuff is ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as having bilingual demon fighters.
But this type of stuff does make for good movies.
at 17:07 on April 5th, 2008
Thanks Big Tfor the Flag and commentary, you would think in this day and age someone who believes they are possessed would be rare, but then people before the Subprime Crisis never thought their homes would be possessed, Surprise, Surprise.