Breaking News- North Shore Bus Arrives on Schedule

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  Monday morning commuters were shocked to find that the local bus had done something it hadn't in over two and a half years- arrive on time. Many North Vancouver residents were shocked and caught offgaurd when the 211 Phibbs Exchange bus arrived on time. A popular alternative of transportation on the North Shore is a simple one- walking. With a new bus arriving every thirty minutes (at the fastest during peak hours), and allowing a fifteen minute wait (waiting at the stop, wondering if the bus is early or late), the average commute can take close to an hour, and that's not counting the travel time. 

Travel time has also been highly criticised, with some simple, five minute trips taking up to days, with the drivers getting lost, wandering the roads in the dark of night, like a lost sheep. One bus driver, realising that he'd been traveling in the wrong direction was witnessed pulling a u-turn in the middle of a four lane road (seriously, this actually happened). 

The newfound optimism is quickly fading however, as the next bus arrived fifteen minutes late, and the bus after appearing with a sevely overpacked load, result of hours of backed up transit commuters. Many claim that this bus arriving on schedule was a freak occurence, stating that a North Vancouver bus arriving on time is about as likely as U2 producing a decent album*.

Translink officials were contacted about the situation and gave no official statment, but have come under fire for their lack of busses and competent drivers in North Vancouver. Instead of adding more busses to the routes, Translink has puzzlingly decided to spend thousands of dollars on thirty two inch LCD screens at it's more popular stops. The reasoning behind this move was beleived to be that the television screens would give commuters something to watch while they wait for their busses. One commuter said that she was excited to watch the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy while she waits for her bus to show up.

* Odds of this happening: 1 in 26000^100