Environmental Wacko NFL Super Bowl XLVII Pick
Baltimore Ravens QB Joe Flacco, shown here during the AFC Championship game on Jan. 20, will lead his team on a game-winning drive in the final two minutes of Super Bowl XLVII. Well, according to the Madden 13 simulation of the game, which has the Ravens winning by three. Image Credit: Al Bello/Getty Images
Environmental Wacko NFL Super Bowl XLVII Pick
In the time honored tradition of Rush Limbaugh and his Friday show segment that features the picking of winners in the weekend's NFL games, here is a treatment of the Super Bowl environmental wacko pick for this weekend between the NFC San Francisco 49ers versus the AFC Baltimore Ravens.
The environmental wacko picking system first looks at the team mascot or name, not the athletic prowess of each team. The next item for judgement or parsing would be location and type of same category of mascot given a progressive or liberal perception of the nature of the mascot.
This excerpted and edited from a Rush Limbaugh show transcript for Super Bowl 2009 -
The Environmentalist Wacko Pick Method Returns for the Super Bowl
Rush Limbaugh - January 30, 2009
"Okay, how can I combine the issues with my game picks, and ingeniously I came up with the environmentalist wacko method which would look at the games and the teams that were competing against one another that weekend from the standpoint of the wacko animal rights movement, the environmental wackos, the entire left-fringe politically correct movement. How would they choose winners? So I'm going to use the environmentalist wacko method to pick the upcoming Super Bowl on Sunday afternoon.
What do we have here? We have the Steelers versus the Cardinals. What are the Steelers? The Steelers are a huge, big, polluting business that destroyed things with filth. Their tactics have led to lung disease, global warming, and general filth, the pollution of rivers; slave labor jobs, 24/7 working in insufferable conditions at the steel mills; polluting the skies so that people had to take three shirts to work every day if the shirt was white because by noon the shirt would be gray with soot! The byproduct of the work of the Steelers, the industrialists who cared not about the environment, cared not for their city, cared not a whit for the animal life surrounding the mills.
On the other hand, who are the Cardinals? The Cardinals, they're birds! Innocent beasts of nature struggling to survive as man encroaches upon their habitat. So, if you just stop there, you would say, as the environmentalist wackos look at things in the interests of fairness, that the Cardinals -- the innocent beasts of the air -- will finally exact revenge against these polluting industrialists who destroyed lives and things! However, ladies and gentlemen, it's not exactly that way anymore, because the Steelers were also union workers! The Steelers were Big Labor, ladies and gentlemen.
Just this morning at the White House, Big Labor was rewarded by President Obama and Vice President Biden. Also, these birds are no longer just innocent beasts of the sky. These birds can fly into the engines of jet aircraft, as to so happened recently with a US Air flight. They were geese, admittedly, but a bird is a bird. An innocent beast of the sky is an innocent beast of the sky. Who flies these magnificent jetliners and staffs them? Why, Big Labor! Unionized pilots, unionized flight attendants -- and we now know that the federal government, along with the states and the cities where there are airports, have begun implementing programs to kill the birds.
Why? Because the birds threaten Big Labor: the pilot, the copilot, and the flight attendants who are flying the jets. We're going to kill the birds to protect Big Labor, since they were just rewarded in the White House this morning. Therefore, the game is not to be viewed as the polluting industrialist pigs versus the innocent beasts of the air. This game is viewed as these innocent beasts of the air being killers, flying themselves into the jets being flown by union people: the pilot, the copilot, and the flight attendants. (No, the passengers don't matter.)
Therefore, ladies and gentlemen, the Steelers will kill the birds to further the Obama policy of protecting the union pilots and flight attendants.
It's 27-10. Steelers cover."
Right off the top, wild animals have to given a nod over any human being based mascot. So, in the case of this Sunday's Super Bowl, the Ravens (also an object of poetry) have to be given the go ahead as the pick for the 2012 champion over the 49ers (those evil, land disrupting, polluting, money grubbing, never to be unionized, gold miners) ... even though the team is based in one of the most progressive cities (represented by Nancy Pelosi - by God) in the United States.
Personally, I'm all for hard work and self improvement, so I pick the San Francisco 49ers (the line right now is, 'Frisco' is favored by 3.5 points over the 'Marylanders' & the over/under on total points is 47.5) to take home the hardware, leaving the over-sized, scavenging, black birds flapping wounded on the field, quoting Edgar Allen Poe ... "Nevermore"!!
Teams: 49ers (home) vs. Ravens (away)
TV Schedule: CBS national broadcast
Announcers: Jim Nantz (play-by-play), Phil Simms (color)
Date: Feb. 3, 2013
Time: 6:30 p.m. ET / 3:30 p.m. PT
Location: The Superdome, New Orleans
Weather: 72 degrees, controlled