A great proposal from the President of Tamil Eelam Bank (LTTEB)

by israeli.agent | May 11, 2009 at 01:18 am

435 views | 14 Recommendations | 22 comments

Vazhthukkal of the Season..( Baam..!!)

Good Day!

I am the Finance minister of erstwhile “Liberation of Tamil Tigers Eelam” aka (LTTE) and President of foreign propaganda and “Diasporan” department of “Tamil Eelam” bank. I am writing you this letter to ask for your support and co-operation to carry out this transaction. We discovered some abandoned sum E 15,500,000 (FIFTEEN MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND EELAM DOLLARS) under a mattress that co-owned by our great Führer and one of our foreign donors who died along-side with their entire family in March this year in a freedom war against the ruthless Sri Lankan Government, in Wanni, Sri Lank few days ago. Since this development, we have advertised for his next of kin or any close relation to come forward to claim this money, but nobody came yet to apply for the claim.

To this effect, I and other official in my department (who are disposable and will be disposed afterwards) have decided to look for a trusted foreign partner who can stand in as the next of kin of the deceased as we cannot do it only ourselves and claim this money. We need a foreign partner (preferably not from "dumeel diaspora". I already have burnt many parts of my anatomy dealing with these guys ) to apply for the claim on our behalf because of the fact that the customer was a foreign and we don't want this money to go into the ruthless Sri Lankan treasury as unclaimed fund.

Every document to effect this process will emanate from my mattress and I will perfect every document to be in accordance with the Eelam banking law and guideline, so you have nothing to worry about and we have agreed that 30% of this money will be for you, while 10%will be for any expenses incurred on both sides while 60% will be for my colleagues and me. (Ultimately me as the colleagues in question are redundant).

If you are willing to help us, please indicate by replying this letter and putting in your name, private telephone number, fax and permanent residential address via my private email address below.

I strongly recommend if you shop for an advanced bullet proof vest and get some guerrilla training before coming to Eelam. Taking a high-premium insurance too is advisable.

I awaits your immediate response to enable us start this transaction as soon as i recieved your reply, I will send you a text application form for immediate APPLICATIION OF CLAIM.

Please contact me even if you are not interested in my proposal to you to enable us scout for another partner in the event of non-interest on your part. Thanks for your co-operation

Charles Antony,
Wanni,
Eelam (x-Eelam, Sri Lanka)

0 See all footage | View Slideshow

Share: email story | add to any | | facebook | stumbleupon

recommend This comment thread is now closed

israeli..agent (not verified)

at 04:12 on May 11th, 2009

[Editor's note: Comment removed due to obscene and offensive content.]

Hiranya Malwatta

at 04:17 on May 11th, 2009

wow :-)

sathyajith

at 06:15 on May 11th, 2009

{{Yo Homo}} is edited as "Yo creature" dueto my respect to gays, want to be Israeli..Agent, You are talking about own experiences, am I correct?

At first have guts to get verified.

israeli.agent

at 06:37 on May 11th, 2009

He he..!

It is all the likes of this character can do. Can't even write 2 lines properly even to support his 'Run-Goat" Piraphaagharan. All he can do is write something like this, the language this creature learned and use at his home.

If you think that such silly jokes will stop me,well , you live in your own land - the fool's heaven - Mr. Anonymous.

Carry on with your great copy / paste work.

.Agent.

Hiranya Malwatta

at 04:30 on May 11th, 2009

Agent,

I am reminded of one Brian Seneviratne (not verified) who boasted that he gets a certain type of abusive emails. I was amused that he was delusional enough to think only he is targeted by such abuse on the internet.

I think he thought that he's a celebrity because of this and well, in that case Agent, you must consider yourself a celebrity too !! :-)

Congratulations Agent !!!!!!!!

lalith

at 05:02 on May 11th, 2009

israeli..agent (not verified) - Did anybody notice the lack of imagination. This guy can't even think of a new name for himself.

As for the language used - Typical language of the low life scum Prabhakaran. Therefore this guy has to be excused.

Hope he improves his spelling. This is the first time I'm seeing a coward using somebody else's user name and then using the typical terrorist language to vent his or her frustrations.

Keep it up. Perhaps, the editors of Now Public will learn some new words and spelling(Eelam type).

Can I call you agent2? Because the real agent can write and puts forward sound ideas and moreover, he can spell.

If you publish your real name and address, we might be able to recover the money you have deposited in the Eelam Bank for you.

Good Luck!

israeli.agent

at 05:07 on May 11th, 2009

Huh, I have a fan too ?

Ok, let me quote the great Dr. Brian Senaviratne.

"O' dear anonymous admirer of mine, if I have caused you irritation, you are more than welcome to abuse me in any language that you use in your home - again and again."

Now, my own words..!

But that does not change my opinion about the LTTE terrorists who are infested Sri Lanka and caused too much destruction and death. Nor that will stop me from writing against LTTE terrorists and terrorist supporters like you.

Anyway I wish you all the best with your self-owned and self-run business and other services that you have just claimed to be providing in this comment.

Have a nice and busy day..(or night )..!!! I wish you to have a great client base too..!!!

BTW, thanks Hiranya for the complement.. :-)

.Agent.

lalith

at 07:39 on May 11th, 2009

Hey Agent.

What happened to your fan? aal illeyi? Must have gone for spelling classes.

israeli.agent

at 07:43 on May 11th, 2009

May be "sethu pochu"? KIA ?

.Agent.

israeli..agent (not verified)

at 08:05 on May 11th, 2009

Nimma Hesaru Enu Mr.Israeli.agent?.. Nimma praya eshtu?. Nimma Ooru yavuda??

israeli.agent

at 08:18 on May 11th, 2009

This is quite polite enough, my fan :-) Because google translate use very formal words for translation.

.Agent.

israeli..agent (not verified)

at 08:14 on May 11th, 2009

si tu es un agent est ce que tu comprends que-ce que j'ecris?

israeli.agent

at 08:24 on May 11th, 2009

Oh, yes. I understood. Google translate works the other way too..:-).

Can I take it that you enjoyed this little story of mine, dear fan?

Now prove that you are really eligible to be my fan. Translate this to English, in 5 minutes. Now it is 4:23 pm Monday GMT, 11 - May - 2009. Come back in another 5 minutes. If not you are a moron.

Ти си кретен, Знаш ли то?

Translate this to English, in 5 minutes. Your time starts now..!

.Agent.

israeli.agent

at 08:31 on May 11th, 2009

Time now is 4:28 pm Monday GMT, 11 - May - 2009.

Sorry, my wannabe fan..! you lost. You are a moron now.

Go and sleep. Study something. If and when you really go up, please come back I will be here :-)

Have a nice day ..!

.Agent.

Senaka (not verified)

at 08:26 on May 11th, 2009

Sorry, I'm anonymous too but I just couldn't resist the temptation to toss my two cents in. :)

This guy is certainly an ardent fan of (real) Agent. Notice how he has placed his very own signature, in the same style as (real) Agent.

His signature verifies that his comment is based exactly on his own lifestyle!

geez!!

lalith

at 08:49 on May 11th, 2009

Here is my translation.

This guy is a Terrorist loving, losing, running, money losing (to the Eel Bank) terrorist wannabe.

Agent, your not verified eel agent is full of you know what!

israeli.agent

at 09:00 on May 11th, 2009

He he ..Don't mention my friend Lalith, don't mention :).

.Agent.

REAL.AGENT (not verified)

at 10:06 on May 11th, 2009

So, Mr.israeli.agent, your from bangalore? ooru olu? if your from bangalore maybe we can meet? we can take a trip down to Goa? how about Mysore? or even mangalore? and does google also do Tulu? I am much closer to you then you think. Tell me a place we can meet in Bangalore. We can talk in person. I will like that much better. Also I will like to tell you, I do not know any Russian. We can talk in French, English, Kannada, Tulu, Malayalam or even Hindi and oh yes and, bit of Singala. So pick which ever.

israeli.agent

at 17:08 on May 11th, 2009

Dear fan of mine,

First thing first. NP aka Nowpublic is a "news" site. Not a dating service. The reason I joined here is not searching partner(s). This is for your information and broadcasting.

Second, I am straight. Sorry. NP profile does not give us an option to provide our sexual orientation. That is obvious because this is not a site for dating or matrimony or friendship.

Third,my dear LTTE supporter, whatever I have to tell you or the likes of you I will write here. This kind of intimidation tactics you have learned from your leadership doe's not work. See how meticulously and safely I can dissect your organization's terrorist activities?

So please stay tuned and read what I write. Okey, fella?

Have a nice day and do good business.. :-)

.Agent.

lalith

at 10:30 on May 11th, 2009

What about Eelamese?

And the other language you used in the first post? (Which was deleted by the editors)

israeli.agent

at 19:59 on May 11th, 2009

Yup, it was indeed a colorful lingo. May be the vernacular language of the underground LTTEs. Too bad that we can't use colored text in the comment area of NP. :-)

.Agent.