An interview with Mahinda Rajapakse, Real answers!!!

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An interview with the Sri Lankan State Terrorist #1(a.k.a) the president.
The real answers.

Interviewer: Mahinda, What is the current situation in the north?

Mahinda: We want to catch Prabhakaran alive.
We don't care how  many civilians getting killed. All people criticizing me and my government must know that they are terrorists.

We are continuing with operations to wipe out the LTTE and we can't stop this war because of some thousands Tamils are getting killed by our bombs. Because of the pressure of the western countries. We have named this operation as "rescue operation"

We don't want to save them. They have destroyed our dream of creating a Sinhalese only Buddhist Sri Lanka. We started this al in 1948 by Sinhalese colonization, withdrawing the citizenship of 1 million Tamils in the up country. There were many protests then but we have our special mob squad to solve these kind of things.

Interviewer: According to UN figures there are 7000 people killed and 13000 wounded, have you instructed your army to ceasefire?

Mahinda: No. It is not ceasefire. We call it a ceasefire just to fool the UN and other countries. We are wiping out the LTTE and Tamils who are staying with them in the name of rescuing civilians.

Interviewer: So the hostage rescue operation continues?

Mahinda: hostage rescue? Ueuh ,…Yes, we freed about 7000 civilians from their lives. And we failed to free some 13000 they had some luck. But we blocked medicine and food, so I think its just a matter of time for those 13.000 to be freed from their breath.

Interviewer: So what happens to the LTTE leaders who are there inside? Do you believe they are still there?

Mahinda: Yes I think. The 'intelligence' report says they are still there but we are waiting. The same 'intelligence' report said that there were only 70.000 people in the war zone. But last time we captures about 200.000 and put to detention camps. I don't know. Lets say they are inside then I have a reason to continue this killings of Tamils.

Interviewer: So the army will eventually clear the area?

Mahinda: Yes. They will do that. These are very clear instructions I gave them. I gave the military full power to do what ever they want. And I’ve blocked free media access to that area. So no one will ever know what happened. And we will blame the LTTE for all our crimes.

Interviewer: So you have given the army very clear instructions not to compromise in the battlefield?

Mahinda: Correct. We will continue the killings. We are not bothered about Prabhakaran or any other person. The fact is that the army cant see the difference between LTTE and Tamils. I recruited all prisoners including ruthless criminals to join the army. I also managed to get more room for the Tamil prisoners. And I’ve earned a lot votes from the Sinhalese criminals.

Interviewer: If you catch Prabhakaran alive will you hand him over to India?

Mahinda: Yes of course, I promised Sonia that in return for the billions worth of military support.

Interviewer: So the laws of the land will catch up with all the top LTTE leaders?

Mahinda: Laws? Oh yes. Definitely. Why not? We have to do that. Yes we have 'laws'.

Interviewer: So the instructions to the army are very clear- catch the top LTTE leaders dead or alive, don't mind the innocent civilians?

Mahinda: Yes, It is Tamils fault to be there. They shouldn't be there. And they didn't vote for me. I’ve almost lost my elections because of them but my hard-line criminals monks saved me from Ranil. Now these Tamils have to pay.

Interviewer: Why are there many innocent Tamils getting in the No-Fire zone?
Mahinda: There is no No-Fire in Tamil areas. I called it no fire zone to bring all the tamils together. It is easy for us to know where to send
our bombs and shells.

Interviewer: And what happens to the LTTE cadres? Those who were recruited?

Mahinda: There won't be any left. We have a very good filter system. Anyone we suspect of LTTE cadre of supporter will be executed. We have special power for that. Within and outside our "legal" system. We uses that a lot, journalists, politicians, massacres. That’s why we setup detentions camps ah ah Well fare camps.

Interviewer: So you will continue the program of oppressing the Tamils that had some setback from 1983 because of the LTTE.

Mahinda: Yes. We have to do that. That’s why I am elected by the hard-line Sinhalese. I have to do that for them. Otherwise I m out of the politics and i won't miss this luxury life and all the powers.

Interviewer: What is your political vision in the post-conflict phase? How will you assure the Tamils that their political rights are protected in this country?

Mahinda: That's a very difficult question. Do we have to protect them? I thought we already killed over 80.000 of them. I think I better beg India, Pakistan, Israel, Iran and china for more firepower.

Interviewer: So you have a plan?

Mahinda: I have a plan. Whatever we did, the government, we had a plan. Sri Lanka is only for Sinhalese. All other ethical minority have to obey us.

Interviewer: What about political solution?

Mahinda: Political solution? I only know military solution. I don't have any political solution. I’ve 250.000 army and I’ve keep them at work so I m going to let them watch all the Tamils. Just like now in Jaffna. I’ve 60.000 army watching 600.000 Tamils.

Interviewer: What do you thinks about the political drama that has happened in Tamil Nadu in the last few days?

Mahinda: I think I m better in drama's than Tamil Nadu politicians. I m happy with those jokers, If they wanted they could have obstructed my military solution. But I m glad with that kind of jokers.

Interviewer: So your belief is that these politicians are only staging protests for the elections?

Mahinda: That’s the same thing I did.

Interviewer: As regard the LTTE, as you said the worst is over. It's just a small task that needs to be done. How will you dismantle the LTTE support structures that exist?

Mahinda: This very hard. Because you can see that in Sri Lanka we have a strong military grip on Tamils. They don't dare to show any support to the LTTE. They knew they will get our death squad visit if they talk against the government.
But we can't oppress those Tamils outside Sri Lanka. They are living in civilized countries. But I think I m going to offer some free tea export to those countries to kill the Tamil supporters. I miss my role model Hitler.

Interviewer: And what about the humanitarian crisis that the world is also concerned about?

Mahinda: There is no crisis. It's only about a narrow strip of 8km2 we can solve this by our multibarrels, air attacks shells, cluster bombs and many other weapons. But we will use these IDP in our camps to get humanitarian funds from the UN and other countries.

Interviewer: How about supplies to the small area where civilians are still trapped?

Mahinda: We have sent enough supplies to that area. We send everyday about thousands of shells and bombs to these people.

Interviewer: So why did you broke the cease fire agreement?

Mahinda: Why? The LTTE had about 80% of the land they claimed and we were afraid a political solution will doom our Sinhalese only Sri Lanka.
And then I managed to arrange some suicide bombing in Colombo to get the Sinhalese peoples and international attention.
I also had the luck of MR. Bush's "WAR ON TERROR" campaign. It was easy, I just needed to label LTTE as terrorists. And the internationals help started to flow.
           
Interviewer: How about the weapons and military help?           
Mahinda: I should thank India for their help. Our Sri Lankan soldier couldn't handle the LTTE for 30 years. But they are good at killing Tamils.
But this time I wanted to wipe out the LTTE and all its supporters. So i gave the command to Indian military leaders to instruct the army. And then I told Pakistan about the Indian army and weapons. Pakistan as a rival of India gave their best weapons. I used the same trick with India to get more weapons. I just have to say “Rajiv” to Sonia she then get emotional and gave me all firepower I asked for.