“This is Jack Bauer! Give me President Obama!”

by Daniel Neun | March 3, 2008 at 08:43 am | 560 views | add comment

- “Just a minute, Sir..”

- “That´ll be the minuteman, RIGHT NOW!!

(shmirks, crackl..)

- “President Obama..”

- “Mr. President, it´s good to hear your voice!”

- “Not my pleasure, it´s 3 o´clock in the morning, God damn it.”

- “Yeah, but there´s no time!”

- “Jack, I said, it´s 3 0´clock in the morning.”

- “Yeah, but I just had lunch in Waziristan and Bin Laden is round the corner.”

- “Come on..”

- “It´s true! We can catch´em and kill`em all!”

- “Yes, we can. But where?”

- “Just a few miles from here, Mr. President!”

- “A few miles from where?”

- “My lunch place, Sir!”

- “In where?”

- “Waziristan, I told you, Mr. President!”

- “And where the Hillary is that?”

- “Pakistan, Sir. I thought you..”

- “What are you doing in Pakistan?”

- “Hunting Bin Laden, Mr. President. I thought you..”

- “Who told you so?”

- “You, Mr. President. You told us on August 1, 2007, `There must be no safe-haven for terrorists who threaten America.
My strategy will be to build our capacity and our partnerships to track
down, capture or kill terrorists around the world”. Sir, we were
already thinkin´about going to Bejing or maybe one of them is a
Berliner..”

- “What the..”

- “No time!”

- “Okay. So, Jack, you know where Osama is..”

- “Yeah, I got information about that, Mr.President!”

- “Information.”

- “Yes, Sir, and it´s urgent!”

- “I know. That´s been urgent for 8 years, Jack. Can´t that just wait a few more hours then?”

- “No, Sir! They have weapons of mass destruction!”

- “Yeah, I know that Pakistan has weapons of mass destruction. That´s
why I wanted to attack this Al Qaeda in Pakistan before they get those
weapons.”

- “Mr.President, now they have!”

- “Sure?”

- “No, Sir. I said it´s urgent!”

- “Ähh, well..”

- “Mr.President - you owe me!”

- “Yeah, but what kind of a war do we mean and what kind of a war do we
seek? A War Americana, enforced on the world, by Americas weapons of
peace, the war of the grave and the security of the slave?”

- “Sir, we´re talking about genuine war, the kind of war that makes
life on earth worth living, and the kind that enables men and nations
to grow, and to hope, and build a better life for their children — not
merely war for Americans but war for all men and women, not merely war
in our time but war in all time!”

- “Well, that sounds familiar to me, Jack.”

He´s got the whole world in his hands.. - “Mr. President, too many of us think that is impossible. But that is a dangerous defeatist belief. It leads to the conclusion that peace is inevitable, that mankind is not doomed, that we are gripped by forces we can control.

We need not accept that view. Our problems are not manmade; therefore
they cannot be solved by man. No man can be as big as he wants except
for us, Mr.President.

Every problem of human destiny is beyond human beings. So we have to do the job.

Man’s reason and spirit never solved the seemingly unsolvable, and so we don´t believe they can do it again.

For in the final analysis, President Obama, their most basic common
link is that they all inhabit this small planet. They all breathe the
same air. They all pretend to cherish their children´s future.

And they all have forgotten about their immortal souls.

So - we go the whole world in our hands.."

- “Jack, are you on drugs?”

- “No, on terror, Sir!”

- “Ok, Jack, just get me re-elected and I´ll give you your God damn war..”

- “Thank you, Sir. I always believed in you.”

- “Yeah, I know. That´s easy, isn´t it?”

- “Yes, Sir.”

- “That´s my believe. The best agent is white, the mightiest President is black and the Germans will have to go to war.”

- “Thank you, Sir!”

- “Always ready from the first day on. Now enjoy your stay there in
whatever and let me go to sleep again. And salute all my martial
artists, you know, the `we can`-crew, Angelina, and so on..”

- “Yes, Sir. Semper fidelis.”

- “What?”

- “Nothing, Sir. ”

…Good night…