The private grief and public shame of begging

"The presentation of self in everyday life", Irving Goffman.

 This little kid is desolate.  A few moments earlier he looked even more 'abandoned' and alone.  He still does not understand why his mother will not comfort him and give him what he needs.  He has no idea yet that she cannot, rather than will not. He is in a new setting and hasn't quite learnt the rules.

Looking like a beggar: From the look of his clothing and the state of him (he is dressed quite stylishly and he is very clean), he is not used to being out on the street like this while his mother begs for money.  This is probably some catastrophe for them both (the sudden death of her partner in a car crash, or her partner being sent to prison for something?).  The mother was as charming as can be expected towards me.  But I was holding a Thai bank note worth a hundred times more than she had in her begging bowl. She had little choice but to me nice to me! And I was not going to pass by this opportunity to photograph her son at his most vulnerable (and shameful)! But her success as a beggar is going to be pretty limited. There are other beggars on the streets of Bangkok who are going to be more successful than this particular woman (I did not photograph her:  I usually avoid photographing people whpo beg because I think it  re-inforces the shame they already have to deal through begging). She does not look needy; her children look well cared for; none of them shows the grime of poverty.  And there are lots of poor people seeking help on the streets of Bangkok with far more dramatic signs of need. I used to give to a person whose face was badly burnt.  Now I give to a woman who has a rare disease that leaves her face with folds of skin hanging down (a cursory glance at her gives the impression of an elephant's trunk).  I choose these two deliberately since facial disfigurement is repulsive to most of us.  I figure both these people are likely to find it difficult to get support from the public who pass by. Then there are the deserving candidates:  those people who may look attractive apart from their disabilities.  There is one young guy (25 years old or so) who is seriously disabled - almost limbless - but he has attractive face.  He seems to do well, even though he is completely unable to move, until his carers come to carry him home. 

Of course we also like giving blind people:  they are easy to patronise.  Then there is another guy with one fully functioning leg and the other cut off above the knee.  He usually lies in the middle of the paving, face down, so that you nearly trip over him.  He used to cover a part of his 'good limb' with what appeared to be blood (but was fake).  I never give to him:  too agressive for my 'tastes' in disability giving!

Fake begging: Expats in Bangkok frequently write to the Bangkok Post to comnplain that many beggars ('illicit migrants', they call them) 'hire' children in order to attract sympathy.  According to UNICEF, this is not the case.  UNICEF carried out a detailed study of Cambodians who beg with children and found that the children on the streets were in fact part of extended families living in Bangkok. But these expats insist these beggars  (like the Romany beggars in London) are aggressive fakes. And the expats insist they are part of begging gangs, organised by the Thai mafia.   This may or may not be the case.  I don't know.  I will continue to make up my own mind, based on my perceptions of who most needs my money.

Begging shame: Some years ago, I passed someone in the street who was begging.  As I did so, he shouted out:  'Hi, Gerry".  He was a teacher and explained that his salary cheque had not yet arrived and he was almost penniless!  We were both embarassed!  I gave him something reasonable substantial and parted quickly!  I guess, once you get used to begging, the shame of it no longer matters.  But shame and hope are somehow connected.  All beggars experience shame at first, and lose hope as they beg! Once a person has got to the point of having no hope for the future, they are obliged to deal with the shame of asking all and sundry for help, and risk the terrible feeling of constant rejection and indifference to their plight.  Day in and day out.  There is no point of feeling the shame of this:  shame will not bring in the money. 

The look of pennitence is better!  A smile of greatefulness; if you can manage it. That always goes down well with the public. But for this little boy in the photo?  His current distress is obvious. My heart went out to him at that moment.  I could see that whatever dreams he and his Mum had harboured in the past, those were shattered dreams now. Gone forever! She seemed (to me anyway) not to have yet learnt the skills of how to survive on the street.  No cunning, no guile, no ability yet to act pathetic!

Little boys of his age are not supposed to appear (in public at least) so desolate.  They are meant to play around together, explore, take risks, break the rules, all that kind of stuff.  If they are going through a bad time, at least hide it.  But for this little boy, times are so bad, that there is no possibility of hiding his grief. The boy probably does not yet know that he is likely to miss out on schooling and will need to face one of two futures - thieving whatever he can, or scavenging amongst other people waste for anything of value.  If he is not from that background, the skills involved may be hard to come by.  And he won't experience the comfort and commaderie of other in a similar situation.

There are, of course, plenty of kids who beg, on the streets of Bangkok.  The most successful ones are those who look grateful!  Without a doubt.  This boy has a long way before he will make a success of the street for his Mum.  But she needs him to adjust to the life quickly if she to get anywhere and make enough money to survive. So life could turn really tough for them in the future.

Looking cool: Not like the other boys in my photos.  Mr All Star Cool Cat is sitting in the back of his Dad's pickup truck:  he knows he has no worries about his future. He is probably the same age as the distressed little boy.  Yet he already knows a thing or two about the (Bangkok) gesture of 'cool'. He is already Mr Cool, at his young age! The motor bike taxi drivers know they are Mr Cool Cat Naturals, so they need not try hard:  they can play around with the image!

Being pretty: And the girl in the school crowd?  She's picked up a thing or two about what's expected of her! She knows how to suss out her role.  She is not interested in having the kind of fun the boys are exploring down by the river, waiting for the unanticipated moment of joy! She is on the lookout for every opportunity of posing!  That's her role in this business of the presentation of self in everyday life, as the sociologist Irving Goffman once called it. But for the boy, I'm intruding on his grief:  something I would not do if he were older!  

Apology: I'm sorry the six photos on my site are so difficult to access.  Even though I choose the images with care, it is rare for them to appear on my pieces automatically as they should do.  It's very frustrating since no one at NowPublic seems to be able to correct this!  I don't know why!