The Right to Arm Bears
An issue that has been coming up a lot in public debate is the right to arm bears. It
appears that there is a national consensus that arming bears is not the right thing to do.
If you are a free marketeer, you will see it as distorting the free market mechanisms that
exist in nature by giving weapons to one species and not anyone else.
If you are a liberal, you will find it wrongful that the weapons be given to a species that
is already larger than most other species and as such already has more than enough
If you are a suburbanite, you will be concerned about bears with arms breaking into your
If you are a patriot, you will see arming bears as treason. They are a competing species.
If you are a Christian, you will say that arming bears is against God's design. The nature,
according to Christianity, is supposed to serve man; which means that man can bear arms
and bears cannot.
If you are a skinhead or a neo-Nazi, you will shout that bears are an inferior species and
do not deserve to have weapons.
Finally, if you are a libertarian, you will say that it's not people's job to arm bears. The
bears should be arming themselves if they want their freedoms or their rights.