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Santa's Reply To a Bad Little Girl...
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by StandUpToRacism | December 24, 2008 at 03:58 pm
448 views | 24 Recommendations | 12 comments
The little girl had been good all year.
Even in October when they took her to the commercial"haunted house," and it got a little scary.
So the mother asked her friend to write the little girl a letter from Santa.
The woman did and laid it on thick about how wonderful she was.
The mom got the letter, addressed it to the little girl and put a stamp on it.
Unfortunately, as soon as that was done, the little girl started to act up.
Some other children came over and she didn't seem to appreciate her not getting all of the attention.
She was three.
The kids left and mom and dad took her to the mall to see Santa.
As soon as she got on his lap she told him in no uncertain terms,
"I hate Christmas."
He shook that off, and asked her "Well, then, what do you want for Christmas?"
She told him, "A chainsaw!"
His jaw fell open.
After they got home and put her to bed, the mom said to the dad, "What do we do now? The letter to Santa is already sealed."
Then she said, "Maybe I'll just write something on the back of the envelope."
She wrote, "Dear Emma Grace, I was very saddened to hear that you hate Christmas. But I forgive you, and I hope you will be a better little girl than you were last night."
Then she signed it "Santa."
And then below his name, she added:
"P.S. No Chainsaw!"
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Recommendations (24)
Karen Hatter
All Locations, Everywhere, United States
Blue Crush
Toronto, Canada
dunkelberg
United States
Pythiian1
New York, New York, United States
Paschen
Narita, Chiba, Japan
Most RecentMost Recommended Comments (12)
at 16:06 on December 24th, 2008
Hahaha! This is funny! good for the parents!
at 16:11 on December 24th, 2008
Beautiful, I like it.
at 16:22 on December 24th, 2008
Merry Christmas, Everybody!!!!!!!
at 16:48 on December 24th, 2008
Cute...
The three year old has seen too many movies with chainsaws in them.
at 16:55 on December 24th, 2008
That's funny. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
at 18:22 on December 24th, 2008
A Chainsaw Christmas
It'll be a chainsaw Christmas from the break of dawn
I'll start with the lights and crap out there on the lawn.
Then I'll shred the mailbox before I leave the yard
So, I'll never have to suffer another Christmas card.
Inside, me and my chainsaw will be as ferocious as we can be.
The lights will spark and fizzle as we chainsaw the Christmas tree.
We'll sit and wait for "It's a Wonderful Life" and take out the TV.
I hear roaring of the engine, the spinning clatter of the chain
as I take out sweaters and underwear and Johnny's electric train.
It'll be a chainsaw Christmas with shredded turkey and splattered ham
Flying mashed potatoes and pureed sprouts with yams
Yes, a chainsaw Chrismas, I've had all that I can take
and my chainsaw Christmas ended when I took on the fruitcake.
(No, the holiday rum has not started flowing yet.)
at 21:54 on December 24th, 2008
I am impressed dunkelberg, It is a great song, some what would fit great into the story “the Night before Christmas” Where Jack the Halloween character tries to be Santa and take over christmas.
Good work in deed. May just scare the heck out of most.
at 09:09 on December 25th, 2008
I can hear a Country Western treatment for this!
Did the rum help, Dunk, or is it off to the neighbors, with the back up chainsaw? Don't tell me you don't have one!
at 21:44 on December 24th, 2008
I'm confused... why did the parents in the story forge a letter from Santa??? My kids were curious....
at 03:29 on December 25th, 2008
Because we are supposed to teach our kids from very young to believe in non existent fairies who will grant their every selfish wish, from the greed of their wants, to the selfishness of their commands, even receiving cash from their falling out body parts, (as long as they place them beneath their pillows), and candy which will flow from heaven above in the shapes of objects to remind us of the procreative powers of fertility gods, from the bunnies who reproduce unstoppably, to the egg, the ultimate symbol of reproduction...only for them to discover when they were older that their parents had been lying to them for years about everything the kids believed to be true.
It's great fun.
at 06:59 on December 25th, 2008
Please tell your kids it was a last minute deal and Santa had already taken off - it was too late for him to write one himself. But the parents have been disciplined for forging Santa's name and they have promised never to do it again. We can't have yet more Santa imitators going around - after all the stores and malls are full of them now!
at 03:20 on December 26th, 2008
It's kind of like Elvis...you have thousands of impersonators running around saying, "There will never be another one like him!"