Science and Religion say 'I do'
Barry Artiste, Now Public Contributor
Finally after a long courtship, fraught with inconsistencies amongst themselves, with tears and heartbreak tearing everyone apart, has finally come to a resolve. Hopefully now an appeasement amongst family members and society in general has come to fruition.
The age old question of Science and Religion have finally worked out their Societal Pre-Nup and got Hitched.
My personal viewpoint as a guest of the wedding party:
With Mega Brain Stephen Hawking Officiating, All both parties agreed he is smarter than any living or dead human being in the universe. Stephen brought the two together.
Guests included Environmental Guru Al Gore in the back row clutching his Nobel Prize trying to pick up babes, with his one liner " You know baby, I got an Oscar at home"!
Other guests included Madonna representing all Bandwagon religions on the Celeb side. Tom Cruise was noticeably absent, because his religion was not including in the wedding vows. Others guests included notable scientists, who were eclipsed by Stephen Hawking will remain nameless as they were too numerous to mention.
The wedding was without Pomp and Circumstance as both were outfitted in splendor, but not too much splendor, just sensible outfits, made with organic hemp and child labour free stitching, one in a starched white lab coat, the other in religious adornment.
Photographs were not allowed as certain religions (I'm looking at you Allah) prohibit images, while the science side of the family felt their pen pocket protectors looked out of place in such a formal setting.
Some can be such Negative Nancy's !
Though kissing after the Vows were taken between married couples are the norm, a hearty handshake and group hug was performed instead, so as not to lead to lustful temptation amongst the wedding party and guests.
Families on both sides of the wedding party mingled, savouring delicacies such as dolphin free tuna, quail eggs, free range organic of course, loaves of leavened bread from all natural ingredients as was the fish quite plentiful, divided numerous times by the Halo'd groom to feed the growing hungry masses. Holy wine was in good supply as well, wine grown from the south side of the Sinai mountain, feet stomped grapes and without pesticides.
Dancing was provided by the Driving beats of the Hassidic-Catholic-Vegan and Eco Scientists All Clapping Band (HVCES).
HCVES as they are known entertained the guests with singing old and new songs, archipelago style, as we all know musical instruments such as woodwinds contribute to the destruction of the rainforests, while the religious members strict religious tenants prohibit musical instruments.Movement was restricted to Clapping only.
Buddha and the Pope were engaged in some good natured ribbing by Moses and Bramha over Stephen Hawkings assessment of the Scientific possibilities and advantages of Bramha having 4 heads and multiple arms, especially at the sumptious Buffet Table..
The Honeymoon couple then headed to parts unknown as they drove away in their Biofueled Hybrid, as to speculation whther the happy couple will consumate their new found relationship is a Poser? For you see, the sex of both Married couples remains in question, as many of us are left wondering who will get to be on "Top".
If a child does come to term, one wonders who it will take after?
It's a match made in eco-heaven.
Science blushes in her starched, white lab coat while Religion stands tall in his flowing black robe. They exchange vows, pledging to have and to hold each other in sickness and in health. And then they're pronounced "Mr. and Mrs. Ecotheology."