Tampa needs more strippers to handle Republican party convention

The Republican party is having their presidential convention in Tampa this summer. Tampa, not Tampa Bay, which is not a city but a general metro area and body of water. I believe their NFL football team is named the Tampa Bay Buccanners and not just the Tampa Buccaneers, as a knockoff of the Green Bay Packers. But, anyway, back to the point of the column.

There will be a lot of strip club action at the convention. A lot. In fact, strip club owners are stating they will have to hire extra dancers. This is of course amusing because the Republican party is the party of family values, or in other words, anti-gay, anti-atheist, anti-Muslim and anti-contraceptives. This is a party consumed with the sex lives of others, especially gay men. Also strangely, being family values is anti-labor and anti-environmental. Who knew?

Now, I know that the average Republican visiting these strip clubs won't necessary be on the Rick Santorum theocratic wing of the Republican party, but are probably more likely to be somewhat libertarian social moderates. But, some of them will be social conservatives who visit these clubs.

Also, how many of the more theocratic types will visit gay strip clubs or gay bars? Remember, under former Republican Chairman Michael Steele, the Republican party spent thousands of dollars on a bondage and lesbian theme nightclub. Of course I don't envision any Republicans with prostitutes in their hotel room, do you?