"Off With Those Pants" Bill O'Reilly Reads Sexy Parts of his Book

Village Voice recently compiled some racy clips from Bill O'Reilly's audio book version of "Those Who Trespass," his 1998 novel about an O'Reilly-esque TV journalist who is trained by an Irish Republican Army terrorist to kill the people who deserve it the most: the broadcast news bastards who interfered with the O'Reilly character's career. It's personal on the political level, too -- his victims includes a powerful "bitch" named Hillary and a fat "slob" named Martin Moore.

The murderer, Shannon Michaels, is pursued by an O'Reilly-esque cop, Tommy O'Malley. These two Irish-Americans share their author's tough-talk, lust for power, and (alleged!) belief that the best way to seduce a woman is to seize her breasts, preferably as she showers.

Bill O'Reilly will seduce you with lines such as:

"Say baby, put down that pipe and get my pipe up." 

 "I would like you to unhook your bra and let it slide down your arms. You can keep
your shirt on."

"Cup your hands under your breasts and hold them for ten seconds."