Top 10 Obvious News Stories of 2008

by Terri Potratz | December 22, 2008 at 01:10 pm

2528 views | 51 Recommendations | 30 comments

"This just in: Snow is Cold!" It happens often here in the NowPublic office - a news headline that seems completely obvious rolls across our feeds and we think, "Well, duh." Wild eyeball rolling and snarky jokes often ensue - and sometimes, we write the story anyways.

News of the obvious is often blindingly intuitive, and makes you wonder who feeds money into studies which aim to prove an established belief - or you're shocked that said study wasn't conducted years ago.

At any rate, here is a small sampling of some of the most obvious news of 2008:

10. Higher weight gain during pregnancy linked to bigger babies. And if you water a plant it will grow, right?

9. Washing hands helps prevent colds. Bonus: not only will it prevent the spread of colds, but all other communicable diseases, too.

8. Loud headphones impair hearing. This is truly a decades-old truth. We'll just keep repeating it louder and louder until the kids finally hear us.

7. Many anonymous internet users are mean, cruel, and filled with rage. Not that we'd know anything about that here at NowPublic, where all of our readers are angels.

6. A healthy diet lowers death risk. In related news, a western diet is responsible for a third of all heart attacks.

5. Clay Aiken is gay.

4. WiiSports burns less calories than real sports, but more calories than playing stationary games or doing nothing at all. So, the more you activities you do, the more calories you burn? Get out! (Literally - go outside and play!)

3. Car surfing is dangerous to your health. Teen Wolf should have come with a disclaimer: stunts are performed by trained professionals. Kids, do not try this at home.

2. Headbanging may cause brain damage and neck pain. May??

1. Beer goggles are for real. Yes, the more you drink the better looking a prospective partner appears to be. Unfortunately, the beer goggle effect seems to last longer for women than it does for men.

And some bonus additions:

Barack Obama is Time Magazine's Person of the Year.

Lil'Wayne is NOT Dead.

Got any other obvious news stories from 2008? I usually see at least one a week, so there should be plenty of others to add!

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at 14:03 on December 22nd, 2008

Barack Obama is Time Magazine's Person of the Year.

Should be #1

Terri Potratz

at 14:10 on December 22nd, 2008

It's so #1 that it surpasses #1 by being a bonus.

Jarrett Martineau

at 14:09 on December 22nd, 2008

Lil Wayne is NOT dead?!

Jordan Yerman

at 14:14 on December 22nd, 2008

Not only is Weezy not dead, but he was not dead several times during the year.

a nichols

at 15:28 on December 22nd, 2008

Apparently washing your hands also makes them not quite as dirty. Imagine that.

Uwe Paschen

at 18:56 on December 22nd, 2008

Interesting and yet most of those head lines would have no impact at all in Europe or Asia nor Africa. I am not sure about south America though.

Number 1 in Japan would be Aso being named Prime Minister

Number 1 in China would be the Olympics

Number 1 in Germany would be the Constitution

Number 1 in Niger Would be the Government trying to suspend the Constitution

And so on.... Yet Certainly not Obama as number one for any one but the USA and maybe Canada if it believes so.

Terri Potratz

at 19:11 on December 22nd, 2008

Good point Paschen - most of these news stories are North American-focused. A natural bias from living in this part of the world!

politisite

at 19:37 on December 22nd, 2008

Ok, What story did I write this year where you all burst out laughing, rolled your eyes, and told snarky Jokes at? Was it:

My two favorites in your story was:

Clay Aiken is Gay

Beer Goggles are real - My own research showed that, when I would wake up following a night of Spirits, I would make any excuse to get out of there. Meanwhile, The woman (I hope) is making a bee line toward the back door. This is statistically significant as I re-did the experiment with varying parameters and the results were the same. As the amount of alcohol consumed increased it negatively correlated with the rating of the woman diminishing.

Thanks for a great year. I enjoyed being here as my first anniversary here passes.

Terri Potratz

at 19:49 on December 22nd, 2008

There was certainly a round of sour faces when the human breast milk in ice cream story was published.

And a happy NowPublic anniversary to you!

politisite

at 22:36 on December 22nd, 2008

Thanks Terry. What about the story I highlighted about you? did you see it?
Nowpublic 's Terri Potratz, a Fashion Statement on SoftpediaGreat Title Eh?

Laughing-Samurai (not verified)

at 20:56 on December 22nd, 2008

and the year isn't over...

A gunman was still at large on Monday after killing at least two people in a shooting spree on highways in and around Dallas, police and local media said. Four separate shootings in less than an hour paralyzed traffic during the busy early evening rush hour, police said. "We are working on the possibility that they may all be related," said Joe Harn, a police spokesman in the city of Garland, near Dallas. A motorist was killed in Garland as his car was stopped at a traffic light. The gunman, reported to have been in a pick-up truck, then sped away. Minutes later, there were three shootings on a major freeway leading into Dallas, leaving a truck driver dead. Television footage showed traffic backed up as police closed off the crime scene around the 18-wheeler truck.

mblarsen

at 22:12 on December 22nd, 2008

Businessman listening to his favorite tunes before work.

mblarsen has contributed a photo to this story.

AndreV89

at 22:43 on December 22nd, 2008

this is me...:)

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stelmer

at 22:49 on December 22nd, 2008

Summer's fuel.

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shalinn

at 22:54 on December 22nd, 2008

A pint of London Pride. (photo by shalinn ginn)

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SOLARLIFE

at 00:59 on December 23rd, 2008

The list a challenge 2008, thanks.

The top story all avoid:

2008 US capitalism collapsed in a socialist $700bn bailout, no bankers in custody for sub-prime scam, that made the world a $10 trillion poorer place, greatest bank robbery or currency scam ever in history. Dogs abandonned in streets, home owners go with them, mortgage collapse. US credit industry ends Investment banking. Only Bank of America to survive?

politisite

at 20:02 on December 24th, 2008

Ouch!

Milieunet

at 01:09 on December 23rd, 2008

Great selection

rnwriter1

at 03:59 on December 23rd, 2008

Sign in a restroom at Labadee, Haiti. The beach is owned and operated by Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines. The interesting part is that the sign over the next sink read, "Do Not Drink the Water."

rnwriter1 has contributed a photo to this story.

wiffy

at 05:23 on December 23rd, 2008

wiffy has contributed a photo to this story.

CommanderShroom

at 07:52 on December 23rd, 2008

Our economic crisis spurs more people to purchase holiday gifts that help ease the pain.

CommanderShroom has contributed a photo to this story.

harringtola

at 20:29 on December 23rd, 2008

The "Duh" effect! Thanks for the chuckles.

blair gemmer

at 03:19 on December 24th, 2008

These are loud headphones

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oneaweek one

at 12:14 on December 24th, 2008

a pair of anchor brewing's christmas ales. one from 2007, one from 2008.

oneaweek one has contributed a photo to this story.

Yuliya Talmazan

at 15:03 on December 24th, 2008

I would add articles about "ice melting sooner than we expected," which appeared with regular periodicity on NowPublic and other news websites.

danplaysbass

at 10:04 on December 25th, 2008

What did you say?!?!

danplaysbass has contributed a photo to this story.

James M Crockett (not verified)

at 10:36 on December 25th, 2008

Who is/was....Lil Wayne

hummselbrummsel1337

at 03:48 on December 26th, 2008

Let's play!

hummselbrummsel1337 has contributed a photo to this story.

pokoroto

at 08:01 on December 26th, 2008

My favorite story was the 2008 Ignoble award given to the University of New Mexico researches that published a paper in 2007 on how ovulatory cycle effects tip earnings by professional lap dancers working in gentlemen's clubs. Apparently they get more money when they are ovulating.