Where Your Bottled Water Comes From

Opinion
Barry Artiste, Now Public Contributor

Yes, Bottled Water, a trend if you will, perpetuated by those in Lycra or Spandex who are seen throughout Vancouver and other trendy North American cities, The fashionable trendy, seen running in place at a stoplight, water bottle in hand, taking tiny birdlike sips, in what one can only see in their Trendy Quest to shout out that “I am way too cool for school”.

Of course this bottled water cost more than a gallon of gas does not seem to sway the Bandwaggoners of Trendy to drink from a Tap.

Of course with carcinogenic BHP’s from plastic water bottles leaching into your elixir, what are the Trendy Kits Crowd to do?  Garden Hoses are too long and heavy to carry on your daily jog, 7-Elevens insist you buy something first before using the water taps in their washrooms.

You could go to your local Starbucks, for a glass of water, why not, it is just another Trendy Hotspot populated with other Trendy customers. 

This brings me full circle to another Trendsetter, you know who I am referring to, the "Desperate to be seen types”, the ones with Laptops, pretending to work studiously, with furrowed brow, interspered with a exasperated sigh,  in their earnest "tap, tap, tappity tap" on the keyboard. 

This, like other types of Trendsetter, in particular the LapTop Trendsetter are hoping someone will notice them, perhaps someone will express "awe"  thinking they are another Hemingway, instead of a Milquetoast, wearing a “Roots” jaunty Red Beret.  The old Laptop ploy replaced the cell phone as a fashion belt accessory,  as Trendy uses his laptop as an excuse to meet women, or even a new bestest friend, because let’s face it, a man without a Laptop sitting in a coffee shop for three hours, staring at you out of the corner of his eye is high on the Creepiness scale even for Stalkers.

So in ending, there is only one safe alternative as a “True spring water” in a real honest to goodness” glass bottle”, is Perrier!!!.

Perrier for a century the “Holy Grail of Bottled water” hails not from sluiceways and drainage ditches of North America, but from France, that “Ultimate Cheese eating, Blouse wearing, Poodle walking Society of World Trendsetters. 

The French actually wear jaunty Berets.

So, will we see that familiar Green Glass Bottles on our streets of trendy, perhaps even a Beret or two?

Only time and trendy bandwaggonery will tell.   Of course Trendsetters, usually have Fashionably outfitted Trendy Pets, Coutured Pets who drink out of the toilet regardless of Breeding and also Lick their nibbly bits clean every chance they get.  These Foo Foo La, La's in turn Lick their Owners Face.  Both the Trendy and their Pets seem perfectly Healthy regardless whether they drink from the toilet of from Bottled Water.  I am just wondering what all the fuss is, certainly elitism and snobbery cannot be a Trend or Fashion?

As for me, my kitchen tap works just fine