Why I joined The Taliban and Alqaeda
By: The Rev.
Well someone has to do it.. That is; someone has to join their organization to help them see that fighting with guns and bombs just doesn't work. Someone has to try to get them to see reason and to explain that we need to stop fighting so we become people again. I am sure Mohammad has philosophies toward forgiveness...so it might as well be me.
On top of that bit of news...I have heard it pays to join the Taliban. President Obama is offering money to those who will stop fighting, and join the ranks of doing things to support humanity instead of blowing it apart. I just hope to qualify for this money, because I really do need the money.
This is no easy task for me... It is difficult getting around to meet my friends in Afghanistan, because I am aware of US troops that I don't want to engage with. They will think I am some terrorist...but I am not...and go ahead and begin shooting at me.. Now that is a terrible thing I think. Also I have to remind my pals especially my Alqaeda comrades..that we need to stop the road mine bombs...because good golly....I know we forget exactly where we put them....and it's crap to us if we step on our own landmines... This is just something we need to get away from doing.
My Alqaeda friends are listening...and although I have not met the top guys....yet...I am hoping my influence reflects the good benevolence toward them and their goals. I want to suggest the goals in honoring the good Mohammad extolled and how we need to be supporting that positive view...more than the jihad stuff.
It is even my hope to get my new friends to join and become students to Afghanistan University. This way we can do some very neat things...in science and technology.. I have my Windstalker Energy Machine I am very happily proud to say have made the designs and worked out some of the major details in making this new generator work.. It requires no coal or oil burning, or sunlight, or wind from the outside to work. It is marvelous.
I hope President Obama see's this article and or tells General McCrystal not to shoot me if he see's a white...shorty little chubby guy...with a big smile...wearing glasses and carrying a black bag. You see I keep my towel in there, some soap, a small flashlight, and some water. Ah..... I have no guns, or bombs, or Weapons of Mass Destruction.....You have to believe me.
So with all due reverence.... I want the troops to not shoot at me... My friends the Taliban and Alqaeda are not such a bad bunch of guys. They carry guns so they are not killed by the US military...but I think I can get them to stop fighting.. It is only a good thing.
I just wonder if President Obama will give me some of that money so I can use it to get my degree at Afghanistan University...and to help my wife distribute her Sichuan Hun-Tun....They are like mini dumplings...and oh so good.
God Bless the End to This War........ I am quite happy about that.